From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


Associated Global Systems – We Almost Deliver

Creative Brief for advertising copywriters

Associated Global Systems – a national corporation that tries unsuccessfully to deliver things.

To establish Associated Global Systems as the “go to” shipping company for when you want most, but not all, of your packages delivered.

Coming on the heels of our very successful “Let Us Lose That For You” campaign, we’re looking at a new effort to raise awareness that Associated Global Systems can almost deliver your important items.

Target Audience:
Male/female 18-49. They are waiting on important deliveries and we want them to know that Associated Global Systems can help them misplace or disappear those deliveries through sheer incompetence and buffoonery.

Cable television, radio, print and billboard campaigns. Also, pop-up ads from websites that immediately play video.

Key Points:
– Associated Global Systems has perfected the supply chain mismanagement method of “undelivering” your important items.
-Make sure the consumer knows that if they call AGS wanting to know where their package is the answer will be “We’ll find out and call you back.”
-Make sure the consumer knows AGS reps will never actually call them back.
-Convey that when it comes to placing a box on a truck and driving that box somewhere, AGS is wholly stumped at the very prospect.
-Our ability to misplace packages and then shrug our shoulders sets us apart from our competitors.

The underlying theme of all the advertising creative should be that Associated Global Systems “can’t be bothered” to deliver your package properly. The client has already chosen the tagline “We Almost Deliver” and it should be used in all the ad creative.

Creative Insights:

-The “Where Is It?” billboard from the last campaign was very popular and the client would love to see a modified version of it for this campaign.

-Client also really liked the earlier TV spots with the elderly couple with nothing to sleep on because it hadn’t arrived yet.

-Client wants to make sure we feature “ethnic” individuals to drive home the point that AGS can lose your packages regardless of race, color, creed, etc.

-Make sure to link to the website!

-Make sure to reinforce the AGS “supply chain” methodology:


-Lots of companies use AGS to deliver their important goods, so the consumer should understand that AGS does not care a whittle about their missing delivery because in the grand scheme of things, the customer can lick our mud flaps.

Consumer takeaway:

“Associated Global Systems is a company with a bland name that can lose my Restoration Hardware order for me.”

“If I’m having lots of people over the house, I want to make sure there’s no sofa to sit on, so I’ll have Associated Global Systems not deliver it on time.”

“If there are any delivery hiccups, I can count on Associated Global Systems to not return my multiple phone calls.”

“Incompetent sociopathic megacorporation run by dunces.”

Note from  Account Service: Client would like to see some ideas by early next week, which to them means in a month or never.

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