Defendants: Tribeca Tavern, New York City; Crate & Barrel, San Francisco
Count 1: Negligent transposition of letters.
Count 2: Professional printing of grammatical malfeasance.
Count 3: Mounting grammatical malfeasance in a public area.
Report: Prior to walking into a pipe on the way to the men’s room at Tribeca Tavern, officer noticed faulty attempt to warn him of low-hanging pipes and captured it with a photographic device. In a moment of amazing synchronicity, Officer West of the San Francisco Special Grammar Unit was exactly 2,900 miles to the west (no relation), capturing said offense at Crate & Barrel.
Fine: Free drinks/Free drinkware. Mandatory attendance of grammatical sensitivity training for all parties.