Defendant: Duane Reade Pharmacy, New York City
Count 1: Misdemeanor grammatical malfeasance; homophone.
Count 2: Rendering error permanent with premeditated, un-proofread signage.
Report: During a routine patrol of Duane Reade, officer found himself standing in a long line attended to by one cashier of questionable ability. During the extended wait, officer was bored to tears and inspired to look up towards the ceiling at which time the incident was spotted and recorded digitally. Twelve minutes later, officer was able to purchase anti-bacterial wipes and new, improved toothpaste.
Fine: $210 and a generic version of Robitussin.