Defendant: An enterprise in Utah that either leaves barrels lying around to be impounded or labels barrels that were already lying around.
Count 1: Misdemeanor spelling.
Count 2: Obstruction of clarity.
Report: Officer Wibatt of the Salt Lake City Spelling Patrol witnessed the infraction on a rusty barrel. Whether the rusty barrel is to be impounded or is simply a rusty “Impound Barrel” is unclear, though most likely could be clarified by calling the seven-digit phone number provided. Count 1 will be dropped if a man named “Removel” answers; certainly a possibility when kids you meet at the park are named “Symphonee” and “Atticus.”
Fine: $75.00 and relocation of the rusty barrel to an undesirable neighborhood.