A Day In The Love Life Of An A-List Celebrity

Awake. My heart hangs heavy with the demise of yesterday’s relationship with André.
My assistant Annette calls to say the editor of Us Weekly was furious that André and I split up the same day the “So In Love!” issue went to press.
Hot shower. Rebirth. André will soon be a distant memory.
At the soundstage. This video is going to stink. But, what the label wants, the label usually gets.
I first encounter Sebastian, a dancer, at the craft service table. I ask him how he keeps fit if he’s eating donuts. He laughs. I sense a connection.
Sebastian tells me he really enjoyed my last album. He works out to it. He likes me. He really likes me! Could it be love? Back to work.
Can’t take my mind off of Sebastian. I long to see him again at the craft service table.
He approaches as I’m eating a carrot. Small talk. He brushes my elbow! It feels electric. I ask Annette to issue a press release hinting there may once again be love on the horizon for me.
Back to the shoot. I miss Sebastian already. He’s lost in a crowd of dancers while I stand on a fake mountaintop waving a flag that has my face on it. Pyrotechnics and fake snow. This video stinks, but thinking of his warm smile gets me through it.
Lunch break. Sebastian turns out to be a vegetarian too! We both have Reebok dance shoes and disposable contact lenses. So much in common.
Our first kiss happens after lunch by the trash can near a generator and an oasis of fake palm trees. Magic! I could look into his eyes forever.
Back to work!
I tell Sebastian I love having him around. He suggests asking the director if he could stand on the fake mountaintop next to me and wave my face-flag. Director finally gives in. We’re together!
During a break I ask Sebastian where he sees himself in ten years. He smiles and says, “Wherever you are.” My heart melts. He’s the one for me.
We make sweet, quick love in the trailer.
Rumors abound!
After a wardrobe change, he proposes. He’s dressed as a knight. So appropriate! I ask Annette to issue a press release about our engagement and budding love.
I have an on-set interview with E! television. I tell them I’ve found my man. Sebastian and I are already talking about children. They want to know all about him. I’m not sure, so I have Annette find out more info.
I’ve changed some scenes in the video. Sebastian is now very prominent – by my side in every shot. I want the world to know of our love! Take that André!
Sebastian calls his pregnant girlfriend to tell her it’s over. After, we let the paparazzi come in and shoot us near a closet of props left over from the “A-Team.” Everyone says we make a great couple. I’ve never looked happier, my publicist says.
The editors of Us Weekly, Star and In Touch call to tell Annette that our love and engagement will be their next cover story. I’m so happy!
The girls all know Sebastian is taken, by me, which makes him even more attractive to them. Girls can be so evil! I tell him to keep a distance, and not to risk everything we’ve invested in our relationship. He worries that jealousy could tear us apart.
During some fight scene choreography, I swear I see Sebastian flirting with one of the “maidens” – some sexed-out bimbo with MasterCard boobs. I start to worry. This is the man I want to spend my life with. I call him on it and he gets really defensive. Our first fight.
We haven’t talked in nineteen minutes. Something is wrong.
I see him at the craft service table with a different dancer. Asian. Could it be a date? My heart breaks! I have Annette issue a press release that there have been some stormy moments, but we’re still very much in love and working though them. Back to the set.
People have picked up on our troubles. I can’t bear to be near Sebastian. Hurts too much. He’s no longer featured in any close-up shots. He’s back in the crowd of dancers. We deny anything is wrong.
I swear he’s blatantly making a play for another dancer. Redhead. He’s talking and practicing dance moves with her. This isn’t how a fiancée should act. Our trust has been damaged. This love is doomed.
On break. Sebastian is knocking on my trailer door, but I won’t see him. I tell Annette to issue a press release that I’m returning the ring.
I deliberately go to craft service to get some carrots. I make sure everyone sees my ringless hand.
Rumors abound! There’s no hiding it now.
Sebastian tells E! and In Touch that he still loves me and hopes we can be together. I won’t let him walk on my heart though. There are other fish in the sea, I’m told.
The editor of Us Weekly calls Annette to verify rumors of the relationship’s demise. Annette suggests it was mutual, that we’d simply grown apart. They’ll change the headline.
Heartbroken… drained. Love sucks worse than this video. The car service picks me up from the soundstage and whisks me – the further away from Sebastian, the better.
At home and soon to sleep. Only time will heal my broken heart. Fortunately, there’s always tomorrow.