How are people finding Banterist? Well, of course there’s always word of mouth. Links from blogs like Gawker, Stumbleupon and Socialitelife are most rewarding. Mentions in the UK’s Guardian, MSNBC and USA Today have certainly helped me break the 2 million mark.
But lots and lots of people find Banterist though good old-fashioned search engines like Google and Yahoo. And what, pray tell, are they looking for?
Ass, apparently. More than 100,000 discovered Banterist after Googling Playboy.
Thousands of others were no doubt disappointed after some variation of “sex with animals” led them here.
This year alone, 50 people have been introduced to Banterist via the search phrase “I want to kill my wife“. Look for those folks on future episodes of Forensic Files.
And sadly, countless wayward teens hoping to reach Paris, Hilary or Diddy have had their hopes shattered here. To my infinite joy.
Behold, a smattering of search engine phrases that have brought thousands and thousands of horny, animal-loving, star-struck, wife-hating poo enthusiasts to this humble domain:
playboy
paris hilton
animals sex
sex with animals
sex animals
german toilets
how to have sex
animals and sex
ass filled
ass shots
squat toilet
bone my wife
tom cruise is an idiot
german toilet shelf
fake pregnancy belly
hot muslim girls
animals having sex with other animals
poo
krakow prostitutes
knocked up nelly
hilary duff cell phone number
african whores
i want to kill my wife
how to have sex with animals
my porn
sharper image monkey
peeing together
testicular elephantitis
squat toilets
tom cruise nuts
cats not eating
ducks having sex
deodorant burns
toilet poo
diddy
soapy breasts
jamaican whores
bag my wife
free butt pictures
monkey vibrator
Brian Sack
I started Banterist in 2003 after this conversation with my cat. It led to all sorts of good things.
Just when I thought the internet couldnt get any filthier, I found this vibrating monkeylove wife snuffing Tom Cruise tiolet ridden whore-athon of squattery.
ah, but there’s method to your madness… because now that you’ve listed all these words, you’ll turn up in those searches even more!
I just visited because of the leather pants. I had no idea….
Now I feel so … schmutzig.
Testicular elephantitis sounds like some awful disease…and who searches for their own porn?!
Alas. Or should I say ass, I found you through your sexy leather pants. Which you didnt model BTW. I am sorry for introducing you to so many leatherists. Not that I am one, but find funny e-bay ads amusing.
CORRECTION: That’s ‘Glen-Beck-lovin’ vibrating monkeylove wife snuffing Tom Cruise tiolet-ridden whore-athon of squattery’ to be more precise.
And leave my elephantic testicles out of this.
Leave the Glen-Beck-lovin’ vibrating monkeylove wife snuffing Tom Cruise tiolet-ridden whore-athon of squattery out of this.
You know that the Glen-Beck-lovin’ vibrating monkeylove wife snuffing Tom Cruise tiolet-ridden whore-athon of squattery never did anything to you.
(just doing my part to move Banterist up on the search results, my mother would be so proud) JBF
soapy breasts?!
These would also make excellent band names.
I was devastated when I couldn’t find the free butt pictures, but then I grew to love you.
You know, most of these make sense in an odd sort of way….but how in the world did Hillary Duff’s phone number get in there?
Poll.
Should Brian have a poll as to how people came to find him?
And yeah, I think the leather pants should be one of the questions lol.
That’s it! Your new slogan:
“Come for the leather pants and Paris Hilton, stay for the asses and shelf toilet!”
monkey vibrator?
I thought it was amusing that so many people found my own blog when looking for Greenspan. Your list, however, is downright disturbing! Yes, you should do a poll on how people found you. I read your ebay auction elsewhere and came looking for you — certifiable nuts are my kind of people.
your list is HILARIOUS.
peeing together? omg.
sharper image monkey? that means someone actually WANTED To buy that monkey and was trying to do some research about it. someone actually wanted to BUY IT!
Okay, okay, you had your little laugh.
But seriously … um …
How do I have sex?
I second that