Grammar Cop: Your Car’s Been Repossessived

Defendant: Allstate Towing, NYC
Count 1: Failure to properly contract “you are” in the creation of a smug window decal.
Count 2: Rendering error adhesive so as to make it semi-permanent.
Count 3: Exposing general public to power trip-based smugness and grammatical indecency while relocating their vehicles.
Report: Officer spotted the vehicle and placed a call to nearby fellow officer, whose window and zoom lens offered the best opportunity for documenting the crime. Lack of a polarizing lens prevents you from seeing the man in the driver’s seat. Just as well, as he was visibly over-Whoppered.
Fine: $130 and a Get Out Of Pound free card.