Grammar Cop: My Civic Doody

Defendant: Norman Goodman, County Clerk and Clerk of the Supreme Court, New York.
Count 1: Usage of an apostrophe in the commission of a plural noun, a misdemeanor.
Count 2: Grammatical negligence with regard to a word essential to one’s profession.
Count 3: Distribution of grammatical malfeasance to the general public at taxpayer expense.
Report: Officer’s wife was “randomly” selected to receive a Juror Qualification Questionnaire, mere weeks after acquiring U.S. Citizenship. Months later, Officer was also “randomly” selected for the same questionnaire. During routine perusal of the correspondence the grammatical malfeasance was discovered and promptly scanned.
Fine: $388 and exemption from being summoned to Jury Duty for four years, because Officer sits around and never gets picked anyway.