Hypothesis:
An LG VX-7000 cellular phone dropped into a toilet by an overly-mobile 9-month old will probably not function well.
Explanation:
The prevailing theory among scientists in this field of study is that non-water resistant electronic devices are harmed by immersion in water – whether it be from a toilet bowl or the Hudson.
However, rather than pass a sweeping generalization over all non-water resistant devices, it has been decided that all such devices should be tested individually for the sake of full scientific understanding.
In this case, the LG VX-7000 cellular phone.
This is one in a string of tests of electronic devices conducted by 9-Month Old Scientist, coming right on the heels of the groundbreaking Effects Of A Hardwood Floor On The Logitech Harmony Remote Control, the notable Aerodynamic Properties Of Battery-Operated Devices and the memorable Potential Hazards Of Diaper Cream On Sony Portable CD Players.
Details:
The test was initiated by 9-Month Old Scientist while the Elder Scientist was fetching a bath towel. The decision to proceed came after 9-Month Old Scientist developed the ability to crawl into the bathroom while holding an LG VX-7000 cellular phone, stand with the assistance of a toilet, and deposit said phone into the toilet bowl.
A Ka-Plonk noise served as the indication that testing had commenced.
Upon hearing the testing commence, Elder Scientist attempted to conclude the test and determine the results as quickly as possible.
9-Month Old Scientist then began to study the physical properties of toilet water with his hands, an unrelated test.
Observations:
The LG VX-7000 cellular phone, when deposited in water, becomes wet.
Removal of the LG VX-7000 cellular phone from the bottom of a toilet bowl is a potentially unpleasant experience, as the size of the phone makes it liable to lodge tightly in the bottom of the bowl. This requires extended hands-in-toilet time which many consider objectionable.
Upon removal of the LG VX-7000 cellular phone, the phone’s lights flashed and the phone vibrated as if a call were incoming. There was no incoming call, and the phone did not cease vibrating as would be considered normal.
The phone powered down without use of the on/off button, again unusual.
When powered up again, the phone began to vibrate. Again, no incoming call, and the vibration would not stop.
It should be noted that the phone was not set to vibrate anyway.
Buttons on the phone did not seem to be responsive, and the on/off button did not produce the desired result. This required a new method of turning the phone on and off, which involved removing the battery entirely.
A decision was made by Elder Scientist to let the phone sit overnight in a temperature-controlled environment, such as the top of the air conditioner. This was done in the interest of removing additional water from the interior of the device. 9-Month Old Scientist was then bathed.
The following day, when 9-Month Old Scientist started work at 5:25am, Elder Scientist re-assembled the LG VX-7000 cellular phone and resumed the test.
It is believed that water has had a detrimental effect to the LCD screen, as it suffers from what can be called “LCD blotching.”
The screen which protects the LCD is now somewhat fogged, like the windows of a 1987 Chevrolet Cavalier.
The phone’s tendency to randomly power-down is troubling.
The camera seems to function normally until you attempt to take a picture. This results in a powering-down of the phone which is not normal, and does not produce a picture.
The voicemail function works and will allow you to leave a message telling people not to call your toilet phone for the time being.
The speaker works when the phone is on – which is sometimes, as it powers down at random.
The Number 7 key is now Speed Dial.
The Number 8 key produces no number 8.
Conclusion:
The LG VX-7000 has a low tolerance for toilet water, and is not a suitable toy for 9-Month Old Scientists.
Brian Sack
I started Banterist in 2003 after this conversation with my cat. It led to all sorts of good things.
Having lived with two separate 9 month old scientists, I feel your pain.
I am currently dealing with a 15 month old scientist, which is, unfortunately, only scarier because they get FASTER as they age and become official bipeds.
My scientist has tried several different experiments, namely the painful Force Required to Remove a Canine Tail, the colorful Studies of Newton’s Gravitational Force on Dairy Products, and the enlightening Reaction of the Tastebuds to Various Country Insect Species.
Welcome to the club.
17 year-old scientist has conducted two experiments within a week with two brand new Motorola V-180s. He has tested how different exposures to water will modify the operation of the phone. Here are the conclusions:
1. Dropping such cell phone in the pool for a second will result in a dim (unreadable display), random ability to listen to callers when the phone rings, and random operation of keypad.
2. Exposing the phone to rain by leaving phone in car’s door pocket while leaving window open and getting car’s driver seat soaked will result in dead phone.
Very elder scientist wonders whether phone exists that will not modify its operation even after exposure to water, so that he can provide phone to 17-year old scientist for next experiment.
I have been witness to a few of these such experiments, and have found the same results. From my personal experience I learnt the following: Drunk people in hot tubs should not be asked to hold your cell phone in their pocket. They tend not to recognize the significance of location when entering said hot tub. (needless to say the functionability of the phone was severely comprimised). And the second lesson is that drying your cell phone out in the car window on a sunny afternoon for 6 or 7 hours is a equally terrible idea and compliments the stupidity of the first move fantastically.
My cell phone went missing and the toilet function slowed. After interrogating the 2 year old suspect I pulled the toilet, as it had got trapped in the gooseneck. That one was renamed the smell phone. Other immersed ones were recoverable by placing them on a towel and baking at 220 for one hour.
Indeed, the evidence of scientists at work has been discovered in our laboratory also. There appears to have been much interest of late in the effects of various foodstuffs to the adequate functioning of assorted audio visual equipment. The premise for the latest experiment seems to have been the following.
1.A liking for Marmite soldiers on toast
2.A liking for watching the Small Soldiers DVD
3.The unexplained presence of a toast sized, sliding tray on the DVD player that looks useful.
The definitive results have yet to be fully scrutinised by the scientist’s peer group (it is half-term at the nursery school), but initial impressions seem twofold: a lack of tolerance in the laser’s settings. (The refractive index of air and Marmite appear sufficiently different to render focusing somewhat inconsistent). Secondly, Marmite’s viscosity seems different to the disk-tray’s standard lubricant causing a rather sluggish action, particularly on cold mornings.
It appears likely that further experiments will be required to confirm these findings.
After reading prior posts, I will refrain from exposing my cell phone to water whenever possible. I will just keep my chin up, my shoulders back, and will resume formulation of web blogs as needed. Thanks for the helpful info.
I am aware of related publications by a budding scientist toddler of a fellow gradual student who went to university with me. Such landmark studies as “Video Cassette Recorders and the Magnetic Media Properties of Whole Wheat Toast” and “Substitution of Chalcogenide Read-Write Memory Media (CDRW) by means of Oscar Meyer Meat Products” were just two of his extrorinary works that I attempted to assist his father scientist in completing.
after consuming some sparkling wine for new years, i realized one of two things … after dropping my own cell phone in the toilet because of it being in my back pocket of my jeans.. i used my cat like reflexes to get it out and then discovered… 1. do not put my cell phone in my back pocket, and 2. make sure you look what you are reaching in to.. some of the surprises that i came into contact with were no so pleasent.. and i regret sticking my hand into a blue bowl of toilette cleaner…
Call Me Ambassador
Sprint’s Ambassador program hands me a phone and says “use this.”
I have some contradictory evidence regarding the vx7000. During a recent snowstorm I tested the cold and water resitance properties of the vx7000 by leaving it in the street adjacent to my automobile. When retreived the following day the vx7000 exhibited many of the same symptoms described in your research, but the long-term results have been less conclusive. 4 months later, the vx7000 still serves it’s primary purpose and only very rarely chooses to power down unannounced.
thanks for the outrageous laughter that echoed throughout my office this morning at 5:47 a.m…i remember my “scientists” when they were practicing…
I had my cell phone drop out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet tonight. Now, my phone suffers from such symptoms such as constant vibrating, the flash light permanently staying on , and the lcd panel displaying white color.
Similar story: 14 month old slobbers on charging port for VX7000. Causes phone to power down when calling or taking picture.
SOLUTION: Take phone apart McGyver style by using Dremel to shave down a full-size slotted screwdriver to Philips 000 specification. Carefully remove rubber bumpers with safety pin (but the bottom two near * and # should be left in). Remove screws and carefully pry open the keypad portion of the phone. Note two brown ribbons that connect the two pieces of phone provide real purpose (do not cut with scissors). Inspect circuit board near charging port and notice clear goo-like substance. Clean with non-acetone nail polish remover carefully. Take small pieces of TP, dip in remover, push into charging port with toothpick. Move toothpick around to clean charging leads. Use non-soaked strips to dry circuit board and charging port. Wait one hour and phone started working again! Woohoo!
A rather older 14 year old scientist accidentally dropped their phone form the counter in to the nearby toilet. the fast reaction time enabled minimum exposure to water as possible, but the phone, a Nokia 6030 went funky and started shorting out. Further observations are being taken by the scientist.
A rather forgetful 19 year old scientist (me) decided to test the effects of river water on the LG phone when inside his back pocket for a good 10 minutes. He concluded that said phone is effectively disabled for a minimum of one day. After a lengthy procedure of delicately disassembling, blow-drying, and reassembling phone, the phone would usually power on to only a white screen. If phone does succeed to power on correctly, the volume will adjust itself, and functions of buttons have been reassigned randomly. In conclusion: Reselience of phone is astonishing in that it even works, however, this scientist does not recommend one to expose this model to any liquid.