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eBay: Tiffany & Co. Glass Apple My Father Didn't Want
There comes a time in every man's life when his dad takes him aside and gives him a glass apple.
At least, I'm assuming there is, because that's what my father did.
When your dad gives you a glass apple, you're left with many questions. Who makes glass apples? Where did my father come to possess a glass apple? Why is he giving me a glass apple?
The answers are Tiffany's, I Don't Know and I Really Don't Know, respectively.
There may be a tendency to think that the acquisition of a glass apple is one of life's milestones - much like graduation, marriage and the birth of a child. But upon further reflection it just appears that my father had a glass apple and didn't particularly want it around the house. So he gave it to me, his first-born son.
As I've mentioned, it's a Tiffany's glass apple, made by Germans. Is that special? I don't know. I've read a lot of books, but I've never gleaned from any of them just who has the best glass apples. I still don't know why they exist in the first place. They're hardly practical. Useless in salads, not a cost-effective way to brown-nose a teacher, and if one struck Newton on the head we'd have been short one smart guy and his theory of gravity.
Obviously it's unused, as far as glass apples go. It looks just like it did the day it was made, for whatever reason it was made.
For measurement purposes it's about the same size as a healthy, conventional apple. It comes in the very same Tiffany & Company box my father handed to me the day I joined the ranks of the glass-appled.
I've thought long and hard about holding on to this and making it an heirloom. I've tried to picture sitting down with my son in 30 years and handing him a glass apple. Perhaps I'd create a handover ceremony of sorts, with music and incense. I'd wear a tuxedo and present the glass apple on a velvet pillow. And he'd cry and thank me and promise to uphold whatever values a glass apple might represent. Then I'd climb a mountain and will myself to death.
But I can't do it. The glass apple has to go.
It would be my pleasure to sell you the aforementioned apple. No questions. No judgments. Just two consenting adults engaging in a perfectly legal transaction centered around see-through fruit.
Please, buy this glass apple.
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Comments
I think it's worth a lot more than what it's going for now.
I mean, I don't want it, personally but ... it's a good deal as of right now.
Posted by: Dayton Tracy | March 27, 2006 1:32 PM
It's a beautiful glass apple, as such things go.
Perhaps I should buy it to go in the inexplicable crystal fruit bowl my mother gave me.
Posted by: Sandy T | March 27, 2006 3:19 PM
May it become the stuff of legends your leather pants did.
Posted by: ScreamingPepper | March 27, 2006 4:00 PM
What is it about odd glass fruit? My mother has an orange. And a wooden banana. Freaky.
Posted by: C | March 27, 2006 9:18 PM
I have no need of something new to dust, but I have got an answer to one of the apple questions. Some magazine gave away Tiffany apple paperweights for some promotion or other in the late '70s - early '80s. That's all I know about it.
Posted by: golfwidow | March 27, 2006 10:07 PM
A glass apple. Hm. I must decline, sadly, as it wouldn't fit in with my no-totally-useless-crap-from-the-void lifestyle. God knows I've worked very hard to maintain it. Best of luck on selling it, though.
Posted by: mama2wanna | March 28, 2006 4:04 AM
It looks nice as glass apples go. You wouldn't happen to have a glass orange I could compare it with, would you?
Posted by: Joel Klebanoff | March 28, 2006 1:31 PM
It's quite fetching and I hope you make some good money on it, but what are you going to tell your dad?
Posted by: Vanessa | March 28, 2006 7:35 PM
I love the apple. I am not going to buy it mind you, but if it were given to me as a gift I would love it.
[ Hint, hint? -B. ]
Posted by: Melissa | March 30, 2006 12:09 AM
A glass apple is just a father's way of slapping his son on the back and saying "Good work, young man, you now have your own shelves."
But when John and Paul gave me that glass onion, god, I cried for a week. I thought I'd heard everything. And then I did hear everything, and I heard it in colors.
Man I miss pharmaceutical-grade acid.
Posted by: Rex Strother | March 30, 2006 3:40 PM
Congrats on the great site. I can't wait to check it out now daily.
Posted by: J. Mark English | March 30, 2006 6:19 PM
LOL, I would ADORE an apple as a gift.... :-P
Posted by: melissa | March 31, 2006 12:05 AM
Speaking from experience, you may be sorry you let the apple drop when your father is no longer around. I would keep it. But then I still have a gold spray painted macaroni Christmas tree from grade one, so what do I know?
Posted by: nancy | April 1, 2006 9:08 AM
Clearly the (glass) apple has fallen far from the tree. And not shattered, which is nice.
Posted by: john m. | April 3, 2006 3:04 PM
just regift it...
Posted by: gwadzilla | April 6, 2006 1:31 PM
Do these glass apples also come in Granny Smith? Those are my favorite.
Posted by: Jared S. | May 30, 2006 2:01 PM
I would love to buy your apple. how much where when!?
Posted by: xsouljahh | March 24, 2007 6:46 PM
I have 2 tiffany apples with inscriptions on them from the NYSE 200th Anniversary celebration (from which I was a member and attended) I think they were only made in small amounts My advice HOLD
Posted by: fred gorsline | May 11, 2007 8:05 PM
I got the same glass apple about 7 years ago in a goodie-bag at a holiday party....there were pink Tiffany's bags and blue bags, for the girls and the boys...i don't know what was in the pink bags, perhaps a Tiffany's flower or some such, but apparently all the boys got apples..I love it myself and, additionally, it owuld make a terrific murder weapon...I can imagine the CSI team trying to figure out what made the impression upon my victim's skull...
Posted by: Scott | September 21, 2007 1:32 AM
gee... looks like your glass apple is no longer for sale at eBay. Do you still have it? I quite like it & am interested to purchase it from you if the price is right. Do send me an email if it's still collecting dust on your shelves!
[ The apple now resides in a garden in England. -B. ]
Posted by: Mok | November 21, 2007 8:30 PM
........and it happens to be my garden that it resides in!
I can reassure people that the Little Apple survived it's Transatlantic crossing from the Big Apple and is very happily residing on a plinth in my garden. Unlike 'run of the mill' apples it hasn't turned brown or mouldy, nor fallen from it's plinth!
Posted by: Linda Chamberlain | May 15, 2008 6:36 AM
Is the "Glass Apple" still for sale?
Posted by: Na Ballard | June 25, 2009 3:04 PM