Grammar Cop: The Lefts Lane Is For Passing


Complaint: Rendering maxim “The customer is always right” ridiculous by adding an “s” to the end, a misdemeanor; creation of a nonsensical sentence; not noticing this; making offense permanent by painting it on the back of a truck; exposing numerous individuals to said offense by driving across Florida, God’s waiting room.
Defendant: Team Homestead’s multiple-font-using, maxim-mangling graphic design department.
Report: Officer was eastbound on Florida’s “Alligator Alley” at 80mph when the offense was witnessed and passed. Officer opted to slow to a crawl so as to allow offending cube truck to get in front of vehicle, allowing officer to photograph and document the crime.
Fine: $415 and mandatory surrender of all fonts except Helvetica and Futura Extra Bold Condensed.