Grammar Cop: Station Agent

Complaint: Misdemeanor placing of the word station in quotes when quotes are only used to identify attribution or the unusual/dubious status of a word; engraving said misdemeanor on a plaque and affixing plaque to brick wall outside of fire station.
Defendant: FDNY
Report: Officer noticed transgression during a routine patrol of the area. By “patrol” officer means he was on the way to an audition for a Bud Light commercial where he’d only be wearing his underpants.
Fine: You can’t fine the FDNY. Firstly, they’re heroes. Secondly, they totally freak out when you try and shut down firehouses, much less fine them. Thirdly, cops and firemen have a special bond. Just a simple “warning” will “suffice.”