Grammar Cop: Sorry, Wrong Number

Defendant: 34 Eighth Avenue.
Count 1: Misdemeanor spelling.
Count 2: Rendering grammatical indecency permanent by engraving it into metal.
Count 3: Mounting grammatical indecency adjacent to a public thoroughfare.
Report: Officer was walking up Eighth Avenue when he witnessed the offense – which beckoned to him like a busty gypsy fortuneteller in a window. Officer drew and shot three times.
Fine: One month’s rent.