Defendant: 34 Eighth Avenue.
Count 1: Misdemeanor spelling.
Count 2: Rendering grammatical indecency permanent by engraving it into metal.
Count 3: Mounting grammatical indecency adjacent to a public thoroughfare.
Report: Officer was walking up Eighth Avenue when he witnessed the offense – which beckoned to him like a busty gypsy fortuneteller in a window. Officer drew and shot three times.
Fine: One month’s rent.
You besmurch the memory of our late patriarch at you’re perril!
Andrew Carnegie Eigth IV
If you shoot a busty gypsy fortuneteller by mistaqke one day, Mr. Gypsy is gonna be pissed. ‘Cause she should have seen it coming.
Maybe we could distract you somewhat by sending you slightly southward,
where the right to bear arms has its own unique set of potential horrors all gift wrapped in snazzy paper and waiting like a BOO! waiting behind the closet door to give the next passer-by the scare of his or her life.
Be aware, though… when this information is applied in conjunction with egregious acts of inattentive and outright grammatical and punctuational laziness it could get a little messy.