Grammar Cop: Semicolon Cleanser

Complaint: Inexplicable usage of a semicolon, a misdemeanor.
Defendant: A 6th Avenue merchant dealing in “organic produce” which needn’t have a semicolon, or anything else, placed between it.
Report: Semicolon glared at officer from across the street, like an angry bear defending her cubs. Officer approached and took a picture using his tiny Casio Exilim digital camera. The camera has since been misplaced, and is presumably under a table at Houston’s Restaurant on Park Avenue, or under a booth at Old Town Bar on 18th. Officer is sad about this fact.
Fine: $89, or a Casio Exilim digital camera, any model.