Grammar Cop: It’s & Ass

Complaint: Misdemeanor apostrophe negligence, confusing possessive “its” with contraction of “it is”; engraving and mounting faulty apostrophe on plaque in entrance of gentleman’s club – which must be classy because it has “VIP” in the title.
Defendant: VIP Club
Report: Officer noticed transgression while passing what portends to be an esteemed VIP gentleman’s club, if by “gentleman” you mean guy from New Jersey who likes to watch semi-naked girls gyrating, and if by “VIP” you mean person who pays a nominal admission charge.
Fine: Whatever you’re willing to tuck in officer’s boxer shorts. Officer claims to be studying to be a lawyer and is just doing this to get through school. Intends to stop any day now.