Defendant: Luis C., Miami
Count 1: Aggravated homonym.
Count 2: Grammatical malfeasance committed in the act of demanding reduced schooling.
Report: Officer was called to Facebook to investigate an absolutely ludicrous premise for a national holiday when he accidentally stumbled upon the offense. Offence was captured without incident, processed and released on its own recognizance.
Fine: $112 and a three-second lecture about the usefulness of Facebook petitions.