Grammar Cop: Amos n’ Andropov

Complaint: Misdemeanor misspelling of “Russian” – an adjective and noun relating to the country, language and culture of people who often wear shiny gold pants; painting said misspelling on a stretched canvas surface; calling said stretched canvas “art”; selling said “art” with a straight face.
Defendant: A SoHo street vendor selling paintings of questionable taste. Bad taste factor mitigated by the fact that the vendor is black and as such is apparently allowed to profit from self-deprecating material, like Chris Rock.
Report: Officer spotted infraction while swimming in a sea of bad sidewalk art peddled by licensed and unlicensed vendors. Officer thought painting would look great in a Klansman’s wood-paneled recreation room until the offensive spelling was discovered.
Fine: 176 Rubles and a raised eyebrow.