Trump’s Latest Masterpiece

“Have I Told You How Wealthy I Am?” is the latest in a series of books by Donald Trump that attempt to make sure everyone knows that he is very, very rich and he is great at business.
Based on the introduction – which begins “Dear Steven Haverson,” – it’s obvious that the book is primarily geared toward Mr. Steven Haverson of Cold Springs, Maryland. The wealthy, wealthy Mr. Trump, who is extraordinarily good at business, became aware that Mr. Haverson was possibly the only person in the United States currently unaware of how rich Donald Trump is and how fantastic he is at business. The incredibly well-off, successful businessman set out to right that wrong with this book.
As Mr. Haverson will soon learn, Donald Trump is a testament to the American dream. Starting with only $300 million dollars, Trump pulled himself up by the bootstraps and managed to build a massive empire encompassing everything from real estate and vodka to polyester shirts and a magazine that forgets to pay its writers.
Building on the foundation established in all his previous works, Mr. Trump makes a convincing argument for why he is the richest, greatest businessman in the world despite being handicapped with a permanent grimace and disconcerting hair.
By the time Steven Haverson finishes this masterpiece, he will realize that there is no industry that Mr. Trump, who very good at business, is not capable of tackling. Everything he touches turns to brass.