Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Yelp Review: Little Branch

This is the first establishment that got me thinking about ice cubes.

I’d never really thought about ice cubes before. I knew them to be cold. I knew that their time on earth was limited, especially if I’m drinking. But I never really thought about the diversity of ice cubes we enjoyed. At least in New York City – I certainly can’t speak for your village or rebel-held province.

The ice cube in my drink was the largest ice cube I’d even seen. It was like a Rubik’s Cube floating in gin. It was perfect in all ways – smooth, crystal clear, square. It was like a supermodel as far as ice cubes go and I miss her very much (Yes, I assign ice cubes gender).

I think about that ice cube and the brief time we spent together a lot. Probably too much. I’m a simple man who can be won over by frozen water.

 


 

 

Like everyone else, I share opinions on Yelp.


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