Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Yelp Review: Apple Berry iPhone Repair

My night table was not where I thought it was. As a result, my beloved iPhone 5S was placed on top of oxygen atoms which are sadly lacking in solidity. Had I placed the phone on top of the carbon, hydrogen and oxygen atoms present in my wood night table, there would not have been a problem.

Absent the capability to support the iPhone, the oxygen atoms made no effort whatsoever to prevent the earth’s gravitational pull from drawing the phone into a downward acceleration. Based on the height of the night table that was not where I thought it was, I have to assume the phone struck the carbon, hydrogen and oxygen atoms comprising my hardwood flooring at approximately 11 mph. This resulted in what could be described as the Balkanization of the glass surface of my phone, and me cursing like a sailor being attacked by a spider monkey.

These folks fixed it rather quick-like.

 


 

 

Like everyone else, I share opinions on Yelp.


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