From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


Tom Cruise for the Xbox



Defendant: Pick-A-Bagel Count 1: Misdemeanor spelling. Count 2: Indecent capitalization. Report: Officer Mohney of the Upper East Side Grammatical Vice Squad was presumably looking for a bagel to pick when the transgression was spotted and recorded. Crime mitigated …


Stay indoors as often as possible, but not with your step-dad. Most indoor crimes involve your step-dad. Most criminals have what seasoned detectives call "crime face." If you see someone with crime face, avoid them. But …