Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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SWF Seeks Oblivious WM

Monica Lewinsky is learning the hard way (pun intended) that going down on Heads of State can be hazardous to your dating life. Though she’s managed to parlay her Oral Office experience into a line of handbags and a stint as a reality TV show host, she tells Reuters that guys are still intimidated by her past.
Cue the violins.
Perhaps intimidated isn’t the right word. I’d say turned off would be a better choice for what a gentleman might experience when watching his dinner date put food where William Jefferson Clinton’s Jefferson was.
I imagine it doesn’t help that she’s overweight and by seemingly not too bright, but those are things many people can overcome – as evidenced by Oprah Winfrey and Paris Hilton, respectively. But the cigar thing? That’s a deal killer whether or not you read all the grisly details in the Starr Report.
Hugh Grant and Eddie Murphy managed to bounce back from their dilemmas. As did Clinton. The problem is they had achievements before their infamous sexual mischief. Monica’s achievement is her infamous sexual mischief.
She will always be the girl with the blue dress. Perhaps that’s why finding a Mr. Right to love her for who she is has been so hard to come by.


Previously

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