Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

Menu

Sky Mall: For The Shameless Traveler

pressure-point-seat.jpg
The Alternating Pressure Point Seat is an excellent addition to all the stuff you already have to carry to the airport. A microprocessor alternates air pressure in the seat’s chambers to insure you don’t suffer from Deep Vein Thrombosis, also known as “Economy Class Syndrome.” Deep Vein Thrombosis is a new syndrome discovered by the very same people who make the Alternating Pressure Point Seat. With more media coverage it’s destined to become a popular travel concern, so don’t miss your chance to not suffer from it! Simply place the $225 seat on your already existing airplane seat, and voilá – you’re sitting on two seats.
inflatable-pillow.jpg
Chatty seat neighbors are a bane to the traveler who likes to be left alone. What to do? Look no further than the Inflatable Travel Pillow. If your neighbor seems like the talkative type, simply take out your ITP and start blowing. During the 30-45 minutes it takes to inflate, you’ll be unable to carry a conversation. When you’re done, simply flop forward and enjoy a restful sleep on this classy vinyl colossus.
inflight-bag.jpg
You’re on a flight when suddenly you feel a chill. You could settle for a mundane airline blanket, but why when you can slip into the luxurious In-flight Sleeping Bag? Simply remove the ISB from the same bag you keep your Alternating Pressure Point Seat and Inflatable Travel Pillow in and step in to a world of comfort. It’s like having your very own bed, except you’re sitting up in a seat and you can’t move your legs. Remember to remove the In-flight Sleeping Bag before leaving your seat, or in the unlikely event of an emergency.
komfort-kollar.jpg
Is she hurt? No, she’s sleeping. You’ll be the talk of the cabin with Komfort Kollar. Using the same technology developed for people with whiplash, Komfort Kollar lets you sleep soundly – immune to the glares and gestures of fellow passengers. If you’re on a short flight and don’t have the time it takes to blow up your Inflatable Travel Pillow and flop forward, the Komfort Kollar is the answer. Best of all, it’s bulky and can’t be deflated.
air-purifier.jpg
If you’re like most folks, you’re a little weary of “normal” air and would prefer to breathe something that’s been filtered by an unsubstantiated technology. That’s where the Personal Air Purifier comes in. Air on board a plane can contain all sorts of allergens, germs, dust and more. The Personal Air Purifier’s patented Ionic Wind technology takes the air and adds a whooshing noise to it, potentially making it better so you can spend less time worrying about the air you breathe, and more time explaining your noise-emitting three pound necklace.


Previously

When the Mentos lady comes calling, you don't let her down. An earlier request for assistance on her behalf has been fruitful. After twelve long years I am pleased to report someone came through and there's …

Next

These days, say the word "China" and most people say "How high?" - an indication that many people think "China" means "jump." But in this case it refers to a country. A country that is …