The Alternating Pressure Point Seat is an excellent addition to all the stuff you already have to carry to the airport. A microprocessor alternates air pressure in the seat’s chambers to insure you don’t suffer from Deep Vein Thrombosis, also known as “Economy Class Syndrome.” Deep Vein Thrombosis is a new syndrome discovered by the very same people who make the Alternating Pressure Point Seat. With more media coverage it’s destined to become a popular travel concern, so don’t miss your chance to not suffer from it! Simply place the $225 seat on your already existing airplane seat, and voilá – you’re sitting on two seats.
Chatty seat neighbors are a bane to the traveler who likes to be left alone. What to do? Look no further than the Inflatable Travel Pillow. If your neighbor seems like the talkative type, simply take out your ITP and start blowing. During the 30-45 minutes it takes to inflate, you’ll be unable to carry a conversation. When you’re done, simply flop forward and enjoy a restful sleep on this classy vinyl colossus.
You’re on a flight when suddenly you feel a chill. You could settle for a mundane airline blanket, but why when you can slip into the luxurious In-flight Sleeping Bag? Simply remove the ISB from the same bag you keep your Alternating Pressure Point Seat and Inflatable Travel Pillow in and step in to a world of comfort. It’s like having your very own bed, except you’re sitting up in a seat and you can’t move your legs. Remember to remove the In-flight Sleeping Bag before leaving your seat, or in the unlikely event of an emergency.
Is she hurt? No, she’s sleeping. You’ll be the talk of the cabin with Komfort Kollar. Using the same technology developed for people with whiplash, Komfort Kollar lets you sleep soundly – immune to the glares and gestures of fellow passengers. If you’re on a short flight and don’t have the time it takes to blow up your Inflatable Travel Pillow and flop forward, the Komfort Kollar is the answer. Best of all, it’s bulky and can’t be deflated.
If you’re like most folks, you’re a little weary of “normal” air and would prefer to breathe something that’s been filtered by an unsubstantiated technology. That’s where the Personal Air Purifier comes in. Air on board a plane can contain all sorts of allergens, germs, dust and more. The Personal Air Purifier’s patented Ionic Wind technology takes the air and adds a whooshing noise to it, potentially making it better so you can spend less time worrying about the air you breathe, and more time explaining your noise-emitting three pound necklace.
Surely these will be all the rage in Brookstone this year.
I literally snorted with laughter at “Best of all, it’s bulky and can’t be deflated.”
Ah, thanks for bringing joy to my morning.
It is great to see that someone else finds this cornucopia of crap as facinating as I do. When I was stuck between a “doctor” who needed a seatbelt extender and a boyfriend who allows himself too much leg room, I suddenly acquired a violent case of the flu somewhere over Missouri. I looked through the Sky Mall Catalog and found the monkey bust and instantly felt…the same. But I amused myself wondering when you were going to feature all of that stupid crap that you would want for flying, only you can’t have it until you’re on the ground. And here it is. Incidentally, would you happen to know whether the Hammacher Schlemmer Personal Submarine comes with a flight case?
Hysterical! Who are these models they get for the photos anyway? Is there a job description somewhere for a Sky Mall Crap Modeler?
(not sure if that last comment worked) AAA! I’m going on a roadtrip, I wonder which one of these would be best suited for the err..VAMOOSE bus to DC. I like the sleeping bag. I work in the tv biz and we seem to have a lot of infomercials on lately with the word “ionic” in them. What’s ionic? Why is everything ionic these days?
Hillarious. I want my very own noise-emitting 3 pound necklace just so I don’t have to breath the same air as those other pleebs on the plane with me. I only breath noise air.
that flight pillow thing is retarded! i was looking at it in skymall this weekend when i was flying back home…and i kept thinking “WHO THE FREAK WILL USE THAT?” or better yet…when i SEE someone using it…i can just point and laugh. then take pics of it to prove someone is that idiotic. hahaa.
you are hilarious. keep on bringing the funny. ;)
I don’t know why it has never occured to to Sky Mall’s marketing department that the In-Flight Sleeping Bag can double as a body bag.
“Best of all it’s bulky and can’t be deflated”
Gold. Keep up the top work.
The guy in the unbelievably stupid sleeping bag thing looks a little too creepily(may not be a word) content…as if he’s got a midget in there with him.
Check out this spoof too.
I’m almost embarassed for the “models.” Read: “out of work, unemployed, desperate for their next fix models.”
Another funny spoof. This one is written by Rob Bloom.
where do I buy the classy vinyl colossus.