Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Hair Club For Mensa

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Why Hair Club for Mensa?
Hair Club for Mensa can help you feel better about your appearance as well as let everyone know how smart you are – thus tackling two crushing insecurities at once.
How do I qualify?
To qualify for Hair Club for Mensa you must score in the top two percent of the general population on a properly administered IQ test. And you must be balding.
When should I contact Hair Club for Mensa?
As you know – because you’re so very intelligent – the average human head has 100,000 hairs on the scalp. Hair loss becomes noticeable after you’ve lost about 50% of your hair. Therefore, using simple division you no doubt understood as a toddler, you should call us when you have about 50,000 hairs left.
Why am I balding?
The proper question is, “What are the reasons I am facing Androgenetic Alopecia?” and the simple answer is genetics and aging. The more complex answer is in the 812-page scientific study laden with big words which you’ll receive after joining Hair Club for Mensa. Leave it on your coffee table to impress a woman, should one visit.


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