From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


Hair Club For Mensa

Why Hair Club for Mensa?
Hair Club for Mensa can help you feel better about your appearance as well as let everyone know how smart you are – thus tackling two crushing insecurities at once.
How do I qualify?
To qualify for Hair Club for Mensa you must score in the top two percent of the general population on a properly administered IQ test. And you must be balding.
When should I contact Hair Club for Mensa?
As you know – because you’re so very intelligent – the average human head has 100,000 hairs on the scalp. Hair loss becomes noticeable after you’ve lost about 50% of your hair. Therefore, using simple division you no doubt understood as a toddler, you should call us when you have about 50,000 hairs left.
Why am I balding?
The proper question is, “What are the reasons I am facing Androgenetic Alopecia?” and the simple answer is genetics and aging. The more complex answer is in the 812-page scientific study laden with big words which you’ll receive after joining Hair Club for Mensa. Leave it on your coffee table to impress a woman, should one visit.


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