Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Bad News from Mars

Hi Houston. Bad news. Mars is inhospitable to bees. Commander Orinsky was convinced that some of our science bees “might enjoy” some fresh air, but as soon as the airlock door opened they did this thing where they stopped flying and fell down.

We thought it might be a trick but it wasn’t, so we’re down a lot of bees.

Not all 1110 bees mind you! We still have two left but we don’t know what their gender is because all we could see was the stinger. Karlopper thinks the stinger can make babies but the rest of us don’t think so. Can you send us bee information?

We’ve been playing romantic music in the hopes that they will make more bees. We have to assume they probably won’t be in the mood for a while because they’re mourning their bee friends. No idea how close they were.

Science Officer Salvato named the surviving bees BEE Arthur and Justin BEEber, even though we don’t know their gender. That really helped to lift our spirits on this bee-centric mission.

Obviously, this complicates our bee-related experiments, which was all of our experiments. We have plenty of free time if you want more rocks or pictures of things.

Commander Orinsky wanted me to convey his deepest apologies. He really meant the best for the bees. He’s been kicking himself all day. I haven’t seen him this down since Palmer died.

Also, Palmer died.


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