From New York, original humor & commentary by Brian Sack.
Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


eBay: DKNY Men's Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own

leatherpants.jpg


You are bidding on a mistake.

We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of the wrong people.

And we buy leather pants.

I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I'm stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.

The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can't even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.

Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.

I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:

I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They're for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I'll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.

Again, they're men's pants, but they'd probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It's a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.

They are size 34x34. I am no longer size 34x34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.

These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren't worn onstage. They didn't straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.

Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I'm hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you're trying to bed.

Please buy these leather pants.


Questions & Answers:

Q: Seen your ad on VBMX.com.....are you gay? LOL Just kidding!! I would claim these on VBMX!! Now all the guys are gonna think of you as a sissy!! LOL!!! Good luck bro!!

A: Thanks. That's a lot of exclamation points.


Q: Hi, Sorry I don't want the leather pants but just had to write and say I really had a good laugh at your description!! I really hope you sell them .... and not to a guy! Good luck! Jeannette

A: If you change your mind and want the pants, I'll be waiting patiently by the keyboard.


Q: For Mr. VBMX: If he were gay, he would know what boot cut means. What does VBMX mean?

A: I'm not sure. It sounds like a missile.


Q:Well, it looks like you're going to sell them. They're too big for me anyway and I'm female. You're a great writer -- so natural, so funny. I think you should be in standup. Thank you so much for making my day.

A:Thank you for the kind words. In lieu of standup I post things on Banterist.com. The hours are better and there's no drink minimum.


Q: Bsack, I'm an editor for Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) (http:// www.poormojo.org), a weekly online magazine now entering its sixth year of publication. We'd like to run the text of your posting, with the image of the glorious pants, as a rant on our site. May we do so? Our submission guidlines can be found here: http://www.poormojo.org/submission.html (Long story short: we owe you a beer for one piece--provided you came to Ann Arbor or SF, CA to pick it up--or will reward you with a PMjA t-shirt after we've published 5 of your pieces.) Interested? Best, Dave . . . Editor and Technologist PMjA

A: Sure, if you don't mind that it's already on Banterist.com


Q: I am in a band, but do not wear leather pants. However, if I DID wear leather pants, your pants are the ones I would buy because your description is...eloquent and touching in a leatherish sort of way. May we post your ad on our site?

A: I think I answered this already, but eBay is asking it again for some reason. Thank you for being polite and seeking permission. Sure, you can post it. After all, I'm trying to sell pants.


Q: you enjoy stereotyping people that wear leather dont ya, you think owning leather is gay, let me tell you something i am not gay, i am not famous, dont ride a bike, and unlike i aint a coward. i do own 2 pairs of them, to me they are more comfy than blue jeans ever will be, i where them anywhere i want including church, no ones ever said nothing about them

A: More important: Do you need a pair of 34x34 leather pants?


Q: You express yourself exactly like my ex-fiancee. I had to check if you lived in Boulder, CO just to see if you were him. I really didn't think anyone else had his matter of fact mixed with twisted humor personality. Ten years ago I was just ending our relationship so I was going thinking that possibly he bought these pants to try and woo a little waitress vixen with an IQ half that of her bust size. By the way, the last person that claimed that you were stereotyping, did you for some reason envision Dueling Banjos playing in the background with a man sporting a greased back mullet and a makeshift spittoon, and, of course, comfy leather pants, or was that just me?

A: Yes, the grammar and tone said 'Deliverance' but the leather pants in church said 'Wham UK'. So I'm confused.


Q: I don't actually need the pants... and they wouldn't fit my less than womanly curves even if I could pull them off- but I could not resist telling you what a fabulous ad this is. While reason prevailed in the end, I was almost convinced to buy the pants if for no other reason than to see if I could be coy enough to get a man to wear them in hopes of a relationship with me... fabulous ad, just fabulous.

A: Sadly I lack the ability to sell people things they don't need - unlike Ron Popeil and The Sharper Image.


Q: No question, just wanted to tell you this is the best listing i've ever read. I'm sorry it didn't work out with the short girl, but am so proud of you for never wearing these. :) Good luck with your sale!

A: Thank you. I'll be free of them in less than two days, and at least $76 closer to owning a yacht.


Q: If they did still fit.. and I wasn't married, would you wear them for me? LOL.. best of luck!

A: Yes, but only if I was wearing a pink tank top and re-enacting Billy Squier's regrettable 'Rock me tonight' video.


Q: I would like to be tough, gay or a rock star. Do you think purchasing and subsequently donning these trousers will help?

A: Probably not if you call them 'trousers.' A true rockstar would say 'pants' or 'duds' or something more rock-star-y, like 'ladykillers.'


Q: FUNNY!! I too have a pair of leather pants to sell and for very similar reasons. Mine also have severe case of closet shrinkage. Thanks for the laugh and happy selling. tom

A: Hmm. Maybe we know the same girl.


Q: Thank you for the inspiration. I am now thinking of ebaying every little thing....and I do mean little thing that I ever wore to be a man pleaser/enticer. That would have to include stiletto heels, leather bustiers, gstrings and the like.....hmmm, wait a minute....now that I think about it....I might have to bid on those pants and create an ensemble....for myself. Did I mention that I am 5'2?

A: Hello Senator Clinton.


Q: I just wanted to tell you that you made me laugh aloud! First, when my husband was in high school he apparently bought a white satin Michael Jacksonesque multi-zippered jacket from The Chess King under strikingly similar circumstances. I wonder if it is the same chick . . . Second, my husband and I recently hosted a white trash party, Trailerpalooza. We had been to a 38 Special concert and decided to knock off thier look. So we each bought pleather pants (though these beauties would have been perfect!) and I then sewed flame fabric to the bottoms, as if it was lapping up the legs. We also got leather jackets which we adorned with a bit of flame fabric. Well, somehow, I came out looking like a badass, but my poor husband looked like a homo. In fact someone actually said, -It's amazing how pleather makes Shari look so bad, and Rick so gay.- I wish I had a picture on my computer, because I think it would make you laugh! Anyway, good luck with the sale of your magic pants!

A: When I was a busboy at El Torito I remember a waiter who saved up hundreds for a replica Michael Jackson 'Beat It' jacket. Zippers everywhere. At the time I thought he was a god. Now I think he's probably buried in someone's tomato garden.


Q: Are these pants worthy of cruising for transvestites while in my Maserati? I just got one and need an outfit that would go with my new car.

A: I think leather pants would accent that mid-life crisis quite nicely.


Q: Love the pants but . . . I wonder, how many thongs do you think could be made from them? Fruitcreek.

A: For Americans? 15. French? 45.


Q: LOL. I once knew a guy who actually wore leather pants, loved them, and was very popular with them. That was 15 years ago...he was Italian...and my uncle's boyfriend. Enough said.

A: Italy shares France's reputation for adultery, leather pants, and aggressiveness to women. Except for your uncle's boyfriend, of course.


Q: I have a friend that emails these types of auctions to me for a good laugh and I must admit, yours is the best I have seen in a long time. Your wording and demeanor are perfect. If I had the cake to spend on something I would never wear right now, I would buy them just for the simple fact you made me laugh that hard. I wish you made commercials on TV so I wouldn't be forced to channel surf when they came on. Kudos to you. Are all your descriptions this funny or is this a fluke? Your replies are excellent and this auction should be on Letterman or something. Good luck and thanks for the laugh.

A: I used to write commercials, but they're hard to make funny because the people who make the final decisions are idiots. But maybe you'll like Banterist.com or Sixtysecond.com


Q: I'm confused, is Donna Karan a rock star or a transvestite?

A: It's a very fine line, really.




Addendum: My pants sold for $102.50 to a gentleman in Tallahassee, Florida. Why? I don't know. It's humid there. But the listing continues to attract folks, over 3 million so far. What happens when that many people see your listing? Read: The History of My Traveling Pants.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: eBay | 80 Comments | Email to a Friend
Tags: |
Bookmark and Share

Trackback

You can ping this entry by using:
http://www.banterist.com/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/281

If youre interested in a little bit of eBay item description humour, click here. Link via The Minor Fall, The Major Lift (and about a week or so old as well). (update: you can reach the description here as well, if the eBay link has been taken down)...

Trackbacked from Please Buy Brian's Leather Pants. on Nana.

Meanwhile from The Independent today the strange tale of "The Wrong Trousers" has finally surfaced in mainstream media. Poor Brian Sack only wanted to sell his leather trousers on eBay. But his sense of humour made this a auction into...

Trackbacked from how funny .... on Dr. K's blog.

Which is funnier: Brian Sack's men's leather pants auction or Tremble's Utopia for the bookstore girl? Steve Rubel applies Creating Customer Evangelists to blogging. BlogOn Sudoku -- the only Sudoku game that doesn't leave me tearing up the paper in...

Brian Sack has sold a pair of pants on ebay. Leather pants. To sell these very wrong pants to anyone able minded enough to be able to pay for...

Trackbacked from You are bidding on a mistake on Screenhead.

About Banterist is about Banterist, as the title implies.

Trackbacked from About Banterist on Banterist.

Comments

This is one of the most entertaining blogs I have ever read!

I don't care what kind of excuses you make. There is no plausible excuse for these pants!

Well Kerry, somebody on E-Bay is currently prepared to bet $10.50 that you're wrong...or maybe they're making your point. Personally I think Brian would increase interest (mainly purient) if he were to model them a l the guy who sold his wife's wedding dress - so how about it, Brian? Just for your fans?

The bid's now up to $51! Unbelievable. I never would've imagined you as the leather pants guy, under any circumstance! What else have you been shuffling from closet to closet?

We hang on to these things for one reason, and that reason is Halloween. Late September is a brilliant time to put these pants up for sale; They may yet be able to fulfill their costume destiny. Good luck to you, pants!

Does Ebay have the catagory of Schtankey? You've got the funk! Unfortunately

If you can believe it, there are currently several bids on these pants. Looks like Brian's set to make some dinero on his breeches. But still probably not as much as one spends on Donna Karan leather pants... I hope your wife mocks you appropriately.

Hey , it looks like your leather pants are a big success! Just for grins and giggles you should model and post the pic on this site for all your new fans and out of respect for your leather pants for the life they never had but now have a new lease on life. Thanks for making e-bay fun!
vpburdick

Holy Smokes! Somebody actually bought these pants! $102.50? Can there be a Bee Gee reunion in the works? Please don't anyone tell the Boy, he would be so humiliated. Poor Lee Harvey.

H I L A R I O U S

Fuck Brian. I love wearing his pants!

Absolutely hilarious. My friends and I are adding to that insane number of people clicking over to Ebay to read your ad. The comments to the ad led me here.

So - a proposition: I'll come up with the stuff, you write the ads, and we'll split the take 50/50. Deal? ;)

I wish I needed leather pants that were too big for me just to be able to get to know the writer of such a well written ad. It was the most fun I had without laying down in a long time!

I think I'm that woman you were trying to impress.

sh*t is funny-
hahahaa!
thank you brian and happy birthday.
rob m

I spend an inordinate amount of time on Ebay (but I don't watch reality television, so it's really a wash, don't you think?). Your pants ad is one of the funniest things I have ever read. And a little sad. Most of us have our "pants". Mine was a mountain bike. 1990. I felt ridiculous, looked worse and, thank God, finally had the sense to get rid of the thing. And the guy. Cheers and thanks for the laugh.

Your writing is good. Short, simple sentences. Small, simple words. The reader is touched without thought. Hemmingway smiles approval. The leather pants shrink in the rain. My [redacted] will be squeezed today.

This has circulated the web pretty good.
I found it on an ATV website. lol
Thanks for the laughs! Your description was hysterical!
Isn't it funny what we do in the name of "love"?

Your leather pants ad is now doing the rounds of Oz. It's the best laugh I've had today (and I work with Lawyers). Oh yeah, I hope Dawn parted with the bike pants that went with that mountain bike!

Congratulations. Now CNN has picked up the ebay ad! (It was in a newsletter they send out every morning as well.)

http://money.cnn.com/commentary/mindingyourbusiness/


[ Wow. Can't I retroactively charge $1 per visit? I have yacht needs. -B. ]

Now that you have room in your closet, I've got a really hot pair of manpris you might like. (I hear manpris are the new leather...)

Your ad almost made me wet my pants so if I had seen the ad earlier I may have bid on them - no sorry, they're terrible and we don't quite have your taste in England, we've just got into flared trousers, platform heels and corduroy over here! Your ad's just reached the UK so now doing the rounds.Respect for livening up the Ebay community

I found your blog when someone shared the leather pants link in a recipezaar.com forum. I appreciate a warped sense of humor, so I'll definitely be back.

This has to be one of the funniest things i've read in a long time. While i don't go on Ebay, i saw this posted in a forum somewhere, and got a good laugh, i shared it with all my friends, who got a good laugh as well. Good writing, and congrats on selling the pants! "smirks"

I haven't laughed that hard since 2003 when I saw the movie Torrente (Torrente, el brazo tonto de la ley, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120868/).

The previous time was when my biology teacher were a pair just like those in mid 90's. He never wear those pants again.

Great stuff. It's just unfortunate that you don't own a matching leather jacket as well.

And we must thank the small woman you dated: if you recognize yourself from the fantsy-pantsy description and remember to got your boyfriend to buy these ridiculously ridiculous leather pants, and eventually making this guy famous all over the world when he was selling his never-worn pants online, please post a comment.

I truly think she belongs in the same category of women who love long hair on men.

Hello!

Your ad was pointed out to me by a friend who frequents EBAY. I never go near the place and thought that for some strange reason she thought I should have your leather pants.

As I began reading your ad, it became clear why she had brought it to my attention -- the ad was worthy of hijacking and posting in my forum on Delphi.

I see the auction took place in September, yet your ad remains on EBAY. This must be a record.

I will be making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning as I believe I've pulled a muscle or torn something in my gastrointestinal tract from laughing so hard. Possibly a mild hernia.

..but thank you for the side-splitting guffaws!

Dara

Just wanted to let you know that your leather pants ad has reached Mexico City and I will personally send it to my friends and family in Spain and Argentina, it's really hilarious!

Have you considered you might benefit from some professional therapy concerning the need you had to physically move a pair of unworn leather pants from place to place over a span of 10 years? And, your obsession with pirates, are you harboring a deep fantasy to dress as a pirate? Did you have an unrequited wish to be a pirate as a child on Halloween?
I wish to thank you for your witty self deprecating text in your ad. It was the best I have seen since the Aluminum pet hats. I checked out sixtysecond.com and banterist.com and found them very entertaining. My favorite was the Atlanta Jobs. I forwarded your radio ad site to a friend that has a local AM station that has been a family business for over 50 years. If there is one thing radio needs it’s witty, puny, satirical advertising.
I saw where your pants went to Florida. I hope they get out of the closet and have some fun.

Classic. Will you write my ads too please???

Our company is downsizing, we're all in fear of losing our jobs, and morale here really sucks.

Reading this e-bay ad gave us the only laugh we've had here in weeks! Thanks!

I'm checking out the other articles on banterist.com and am laughing just as hard.

Somehow, I get the feeling your teachers in school disliked you and your smart-aleck attitude.

Thanks for brightening a very gloomy week!

Leather is a turn on. So is a man with a good sense of humor. I want you!

how much for the hanger that hung those awesome pants for so long?

[ That's the million-dollar idea, darling. Sadly I haven't a clue which one it would be. -B.]

I think I can clear up your confusion about why a guy in Tallahassee, FL would buy your pants. In a fascinating little vis a vis, my husband and I were just in Del Ray (informed by the locals that they call it Dull Ray. After buying beach resort things at beach-y shops, we stopped at Starbucks on Atlantic Ave.

We struck up a conversation with a very genial guy with long, multi-hued hair and copious tatooing. He said he has an internet business. When I inquired what the internet business was, he hestitated in a coy fashion. He said, "I don't know how to tell you without shocking you."

It was a reasonable assumption; I was wearing pearls.

Naturally, that only made me even more curious so I waited expectantly. Turns out he runs an online store for Goth and fetish clothing. Hmmm, shocking.

But what actually was interesting was learning, according him, that Florida is the capital of fetishists, even boasting the headquarters of the largest manufacturer of fetish clothing--corsets, rubber dresses and whatnot--in the country.

I don't know why Florida has become simultaneously the homebase for New York Jews and fetishists, but I think I do know why someone from Tallahassee bought your leather pants.

And by the way, please visit Neil's website. He's trying to get a business started. www.SindustryFetish.com Unless you're easily shocked.

Two things: I read the story and loved it until I got to the end, only to lament that the buyer shares my city of residence. Why can't I live among people that don't buy pre-owned leather pants? Seems like a simple enough request.

Comment: Ange -- Delray, maybe. Tampa (known as the Goth capital), definitely. But the difference between Tallahassee and Delray (and Tampa) is staggering. Not a lot of goat's blood drinkers here. Mostly just sweet tea by the gallon. There is an equator right around Orlando that separates South Florida from Southern Florida. Tallahassee is the heart of the latter.

Brian- I so enjoyed the ad- and am wondering why you aren't writer for a sitcom or something along those lines. You are so witty- humor like that needs to be shared!

Hi There - Your story has hit South Africa and we are having a good laugh! Absolutely brilliantly written and glad you managed to sell those pants!

Just received your ad by e-mail from a friend tonight. I haven't laughed so much in ages - thank you.

I DO however wear leather pants (trousers to us Brits) and have been told I look outrageously sexy in them .... so there. Leather pants are sexy! but then I am a bird, so says my bloke, who has a secret hankering to wear leather pants himself, hmmmm, but alas he is only a 29 inch leg so couldn't have bid on these :-(

Brian,

What else do you have in your wardrobe that you're willing to get rid of? I'm looking for something in particular. When I was 9 or 10, I had a pair of brown corduroy pants with little yellow and blue flowers embroidered on the pockets and the bottoms sewn into a rolled position. Do you have anything that matches this description? I'm desperate to compensate for an adulthood drowned in sorrow and overpriced microbrews by returning to the pants of my innocence.

On second thought, skip it. I'll just check Salvation Army.

Best,

Ben

Dear Brian:

I suppose that these leather pants, which have captivated an audience the equivalent of a major city, were accompanied by shoes, a belt with a platter-sized buckle, and a magnificent shirt, coat or vest.

Any chance I can convince you to describe the ensemble that these pants were meant to complete?

Truth is not important here.

Tom

P.S. Did Pat Boone or Dan Quayle bid? Just curious.

Hi:

Just to let you know that your ad was readed and enjoyed in San Jose, Costa Rica. And you know, as men we do a lot of crazy stuff just to get a girl impressed. Best regards.

I too had a fairly decent chuckle over this ad. i'v never done the e-bay thing before but i'v heard you can buy and sell ANYTHING on there! and i'll be dipped in shit if that aint the truth... apperently. I happen to have in my possession a tassel leather jacket i bought a hundred years ago for a similar reason, only i didn't even know the gal who talked me into it. she just happened to be in the store when i was trying to decide: tassels or no tassels. she thought the tassels went good with my then long hair. Or there's the distinct possibility she's just a BITCH! not only did i not know her or have the chance of "bedding" her, but i actually did wear it for a couple o' years. so i guess that makes you 2 up on me eh? However now that i've been e-mailed yer ad, i now believe there's hope of unloading it and becoming closer to investing in my own yacht. so thanx and wish me luck eh.

I made a mistake too. My mistake is similar to yours, except I didn't buy the pants, I bought the girl. She's now my ex-wife.
I would like to sell my mistake on ebay. Would you help me write the listing?

Would you be so kind as to write a break up letter for me. I am sure that you can cover every excuse in the book. Including the fact that this guy wore leather pants.

This is funny shit.

You have just saved my sanity.
I thought my head was going to explode due to fatal amounts of homework--until my sister emailed me your post. Thank you! My day has officially been brightened!
You shall be happy to know (or extremely creeped out to know) that your post is now taped up in five bathroom stalls at Sarah Lawrence College. Congratulations!

Dear Mr Leather Pants Seller-

I was going to correct you on the comment about a tatooed gay man wearing your pants (leather chaps maybe), but then I realized... Who cares? People from around the globe are getting a laugh out of this. Who'd have thought cheesy '80s fashion would bring us all together as one? My '80s fashion "mistake", which was a black leather fannie pack, brought on only years of therapy.
Congrats on the sale.

When I was in Guatemala I found a store that sold those exact same pants on the black market (they were ostensibly NOT DK and ostensibly probably NOT real leather, but....)

For those of you who REALLY want them pants and didn't get to Brian's Ebay posting in time to bid, the name of the store is:
La Casa Del Pants or for those non Spanish speakers "The House of Pants"

Thanks for your ad Brian.

So funny I laughed my ass off...Hey, do you have any assless chaps you want to unload?

"grreatt" in the immortal words of Jim Rome and Tony the u know. as soon as the edge and Larry mullen are done w/ our Euro-set, I'll need your pants. I'm not kidding. I'm emperically certain I'm the destined owner of said artiface. Thanks and w/or/w/out u. relinquished dreams and terms of pop enquerement $$$$ Not even I know how to sign.

Oh MY HECK! I have been the victim of the "leather fever" myself... Only it was a mini-dress from some mail order catalog circa 1987. I only wore it once, but it must've been some kind of seriously hot dress, because before I knew it, some guy was talking to me and asking for my # in a convenience store, (being young and stupid, I gave it to him). When I went out to the car, a girl and her friend (in a MUCH nicer car than the one I was driving, may I add), decided to ram the car I was in (did I also mention the car I was driving was BORROWED???). The night ended up with me calling the police to report the hit & run, and the girl in the other car telling me that I had been talking to her boyfriend, and then her questioning my choice of employment... Needless to say, I never wore the dress again. I figured it served me right for wearing so much dead cow next to my naked skin. I ended up selling it for $10 at a garage sale. I hope it didn't pass on some kind of weird curse! Maybe we should start an anonymous 12 step program for those of us whom have had such terribly scarring experiences in our "leather" pasts...
Thanks for the laugh!

I would buy them if they were assless...Do your pants have a cousin named Assless Chapps...if so contact me.


You could get away with brown suede pants if you wear them with a nice button shirt, for a preppy look. Suede is great for clothing because they stand up to a lot of abuse. But something tells me you don't want to go there again.

Who are you? Will you go out with me? I've seen this eBay ad a million times and I always laugh, loud and long, much to the dismay of my co-workers.

I know ..you are david hasselhof...

not sure how i stumbled upon this page but glad i did, truly funny, made me LAUGHHHH!!! thank you...gosh, makin me wonder if i should get rid of my leather pants now--i actually thought they were cool....'til now *eeks*

Have you sold these pants yet.. If you havent, are they real leather or fake leather, what year did you buy them, and is the color good. I would love to buy them. I am not gay but i do wear leather pants

Brian

Your pants are icky!
No thanks ;)

I was going to buy them but theyre not on ebay anymore ....

Leather pants are:
Sexy, Sensual, Slightly Sinful-
But Most Of All...
Rock And Roll!!!

Come on now!!!
The Doors, The Sex Pistols, Pretenders, Blondie, Iggy... a lotta' really good Bluezy, H-Mtl bands (i.e. Zep, Sabbath.)

And to say for sure, current singer-songwriters; Tori, Polly Jean and Sheryl.

Keep Your Strings Tuned And Your Songs True,

Blessed Be;

bil c.

"Fine line" between rock stars and transvestites? Disdainful unappreciation for fine clothing. Especially leather?

Must be a really fun life. See you at church.

I love to wear leather pants, and go barefoot with it.

First of all I'am heterosexual(straight), and I have girlfriend. I am not going to buy your pants even that I like the style. I only want to coment that in Mexico I have seen many people with leather pants (darks, punks, etc), and for the look or for their girlfriend you easily guess they are not gays. In México, gays dresses colorfully and very, very rarely they use this kind of pants.
So my comment is to encourage people to avoid wrong ideas of people who likes that clothing.

I know it helps to write something readable while making fun out of gays, motorbikers, rock stars, etc. You should not overgeneralize, though.. I like leather pants (I like different leather on women), I have three pairs of them (I was too shy, mostly because of dudes like you commenting shitty on such issues, to buy one pair in good size so I have two pairs of something not really fitting me from ebay).. I have a girlfriend and I don't like motorbikes. I like heavy metal, but I don't link it together, really. It's like a small fetish feeling. Am I that different to you? Or am I a gay?? Really, man.. I know that Americans rarely use their brains (if they have any, not loads of fast food instead), but you should write according to your great values represented by your - so called - Constitution! Shame of you! Right, I'm overgeneralizing, and I'm doing that on purpose - how do you like that?

I have to say, I love the way you typed this out.
I am completely charmed. haha!! I needed that laugh.. we women can be terrible, cant we?!
:)
I am sorry.. I liked the leather pants, too.

well, I am a rock star, and I love leather/pleather pants. Its supposed to be sexy. I mean, its supposed to be like, um, a particular poet/rock star fashion sense of the word. What is happening to the world? Why do blue jeans have to be worn? I feel so disgusting and gross if I wear blue pants. Leather ones suit me better. but that is not my size.

Great adcopy.

Thats what i call a great story to sell products.

Well done matey

Geez, your former girlfriend has a fetish. Care to share her number? :)

there is nothing more gay than being told what is gay and accepting it. These are pants dumb ass.

Have you seen the all time classic, ROCKUMENTORY...SPINAL-TAP...Talk about Leathar pants... you might just think again....

Wow. I'm way too late, but I'm a Gay, biker/pirate who plays in a Queen cover band. Would have been perfect for me. Oh well. Guess I'll have to lay siege to Florida and pillage them the old fashioned way.

Just wanted to clarify now that I made my joke. I'm not gay or a biker or a pirate or in a Queen cover band, but I do have a sense of humor. I think it is sad that so many people feel they need to chastise this guy for his story. He's not bashing gays, in my opinion, just drawing a parallel between leather pants and some groups of people who don them regularly. I own a pair and am not offended. It's humor. I also noted that no one accused him of pirate bashing or rockstar bashing either. If your gonna be hypersensitive, you might as well be extremist too and get on all the band wagons. Dude you are a funny man.

To the people who like the leather pants - Cut off your mullets and seek help looking normal...

Honestly, if they were never sold, I am interested in these leather pants.

I am a 36 x 34 guy who is in the process of losing a few pounds by Spring. I am the marketing director / lead photographer for a bikini team that poses with cars and motorcycles. I am going for the whole "Keith Richards" look this upcoming year, and have the appropriate sportcoat and shoes to go with your pants to pull off the look.

Also I am looking for some seriously ugly curtian pattetns (Flowered / perhaps sunflowers?) I need this material so I can have it made into a custom oxrord shirt.

I assure you that this will happen with or without your pants in particular, however your seem to fit my needs.

Please reply, or if you no longer own these pants, tell me who bought them from you, as I would be willing to own them 'thirdhand' if need be.

I am interested in the immediate purchase of some of your items for my customers which should be between the range of $50 to $95 my estimate budget is $1000 at most and I will be responsible for the shipment of the items from your location using my Shipping Company. However, the payment for your items will be through Remittance of my Credit card which you going to charge. If you are okay with this reliable,acceptable and best method of payment, kindly send in the price list of your various items you have in stock.
I awaits your fast reply so as for payment issuance.

Is this the "Mary" in "There's something about 'Mary'"?

Holy crap. I'm the one who bought the pants. I've worn them twice. That's it. They just don't look right on me. And yes, the humidity in Florida sucks. I wouldn't dare wear them during a summer day here. At the time I bought them, I was young and stupid. "Hmm... leather pants. Those look cool. Ooh... they're in my size! Sweet!" So here I am, almost four years later; Mentioned to a girl that I had leather pants, she freaked and told me I had to start wearing them. I start thinking about it and hop on the computer and Google "How to wear leather pants without looking gay". Second link that comes up is this one. I start reading the story and had a deja vu moment. Scrolled down, saw that the pants sold to a guy in Tallahassee. ::shocked:: Must be me. So they're sitting in my closet now, gathering dust. Can't believe I paid $100 for them. I hope you spent the money well. Not sure what I'll do with these pants now that they appear to be semi-famous. Time to join a band maybe?

Where were you when the news media was asking?
-B.

I just LOVE these designs

I remember seeing this add on ebay. It will stand in my mind for the rest of my life for the simple fact that I can relate. Some time in the 2000s I did the same thing. However I had the intuition to return them to the store the day after purchasing them. Otherwise I am sure they would be sitting in the back of my closet as well.

I've only just become a member of Ebay, late to the punch I know, so I have only just come across this and man, I could not stop laughing. I practically had tears rolling down my face! It is one of the funniest Ebay posts I have read, the humour is just so sharp and spot on. He has a way of attracting good attention and I loved the comments to questions left for him. Whomever this person was, he was a genius! Flippin' brilliant! :D

Amazing. Funniest thing I've ever read on the web. And I LOVE that the guy who bought them posted a comment.

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)



Not for the marginally literate.



ABOUT
INDEX
FAQ
FEED
TWITTER

Entries:

Comments:


By category:


Banterist is licensed under a Creative Commons License and is powered by Movable Type 4.32-en. The site is pretty because Nick Aster made it that way.

© 2003-2012 Brian Sack. All rights reserved.

television-clips.jpg

subscribe.jpg

Where've we been?
The New York Times • NPR • WBCN • Mancow • Fox & Friends • CBS Up To The Minute • The Jay Thomas Show • WJIM • WOCM • CW 11 • The Guardian • USA Today • Boing Boing • Daybreak USA • Fusion • New York Daily News • Canada National Post • KIRO • Radar • McSweeney's • The Independent • Glamour • MSNBC.com • FARK • Glenn Beck program • New York Post Page Six • BBC Radio • Gawker • Defamer • CNN.com • Cracked • New Zealand Herald • Irish Independent • Weekend America and other fine media outlets.


 


 Subscribe to Feed