Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.
Dear Person Who Hacked Paris Hilton's Cell Phone
By making Ms. Hilton's phone book and emails available for all to see, you provided me with much entertainment on a lazy Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed the fruits of your labor, gleefully imagining the fury that would be directed at Ms. Hilton after Eminem received his ninetieth wake-up call from some adoring, aspiring wigga. I thought long and hard about calling up "Dad" and cursing him for producing such a monstrosity and unleashing it on the public. I spent valuable seconds wondering if a mundane entry like "Rite Aid" was for a pharmacy - or a drug dealer. I wonder if "Egplant dike ass" will be upset when she recognizes her phone number.
Though I was pleased to see the number for "Feed the children" in there, she didn't gain any points with me. I can't stand her and neither, obviously, can you.
We share the same distaste for the girl. We're appalled by the vapidity, the hubris, the logic-defying celebrity status bestowed on her by dunces. You cringe as I cringe. You shake your head as I do. You don't get it as I don't get it.
No doubt you were as traumatized as I was that the video of her humping an opportunistic sleazeball didn't send her off to oblivion - but rather made her bigger and more powerful. Just like the blob in The Blob. I saw this as a sign that the world was going to Hell, and so did you. Indeed, perhaps she's Satan in a tart costume.
Speaking of Satan - who do you think would email back if I sent "Christ" a message? She can't be that connected, can she? He's there in her address book, two up from Chris Judd, just under "Mr. Chows."
Though I find Ms. Hilton a classless drain on all things decent and believe she cheerfully, vacantly represents almost everything that's wrong with society today, my contempt for the strumpet ends at calling her names. You? You've got moxie, my boy. You take action.
Now, what you did was wrong of course. Your callous disregard for collateral damage was on par with the average Islamist. Come tomorrow - after having received countless emails and phone calls from freaks worldwide - hundreds of innocent and not-so-innocent people or their assistants will be forced to spend their President's Day obtaining new phone numbers and email addresses.
Because of what you did to Ms. Hilton, other folks were hurt or placed in harm's way. Ashlee Simpson might get a call reminding her that she's a fraud perpetrating a joke on the song-downloading public. Ditto Lindsay Lohan. And Lauren Popeil, heiress to Ronco, might be hounded by people upset that her dad's Food Dehydrator is a piece of crap.
A lot of folks - and inexplicably Pauly Shore - were caught in the crossfire. So shame on you.
But how totally, totally awesome.
Sure we've all seen Paris naked, committing oral sodomy in night vision, but your felonious adventure provided pretty much anyone with internet access the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the little portion of Paris they hadn't yet seen. The Paris who, according to her personal notes, has to "Get birth control kill pill." The Paris who has "Tell ken about jess trying to bone JT" as a to-do. The business-savvy Paris who plans to "Do that's hot tank tops like chrome hearts iold english writinh that's hot with crosses and tiatas."
Thanks to the overwhelming Paris Hilton media offensive (pun intended), the content of her Sidekick phone was actually the only Paris-related thing left for the general population to find out about. Now that you went the extra mile and provided it to us, I can't help but wonder: is she over?
Of course she isn't. That would simply be too lucky. Sure, we'd love to think of her being dis-invited to parties and airbrushed off magazine covers. But it's not going to happen. I wouldn't say we'll always have Paris, but she'll be desecrating the culture a bit longer. Sigh.
Not to say the sacrifice you'll be making is in vain; you gave us brief joy and a glimmer of hope. For that, I thank you. No doubt a good portion of the public thanks you. Pauly Shore, ironically, probably thanks you. In fact the only people not thanking you would be the heiress herself, and 500 of her closest "friends."
Tags: Celebrities | Comment Frenzy | Google Bait | Letters | Ripped From The Headlines | Very Popular
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Gucci Get's HardAmazingly they can still get it up since Tom's gone.
Brian Sack expresses his thanks to a modern American Hero: Sure we've all seen Paris naked, committing oral sodomy in night vision, but your felonious adventure provided pretty much anyone with internet access the opportunity to catch a glimpse...
I don't really give a shit about the stupid spoiled whore, but I do love to see useless wastes of sperm and egg inconvenienced. A coherent repsonse to the whole non-story can be found at the Banterist. It starts like
Comments
are all of the websites that had the numbers found in paris hilton's address book down or deleted? because i can't find any
Posted by: me | February 21, 2005 4:57 PM
Your perspective was simply brilliant! America's Favorite "let them eat cake girl" has certainly worn out her 15 minutes by my watch. Only in America can one go so far by virtue of what crotch you are to fall out of. Keep up the good work.
Ken
Posted by: Ken Ratkosky | February 21, 2005 6:10 PM
If anyone happens to have a list of Paris Hilton's numbers in her cell phone, i would appreciate it if you would send it to me. Thank you!
Posted by: charlotte | February 21, 2005 6:45 PM
I found one... enjoy :)
Posted by: Scott | February 21, 2005 7:05 PM
Yeahyeah nuew number to bug [redacted]
Posted by: Someone | February 21, 2005 7:45 PM
if anyone has the list f numbers ca u plz send them to me? thanks!!
Posted by: me | February 21, 2005 8:07 PM
if anyone has the list can someone email it to me or maybe a link or something?
Thanks!!!
Natasha
Posted by: tasha | February 21, 2005 8:18 PM
I have the list!!!!!
E-mail me if you wantee
Posted by: L Paslawski | February 21, 2005 9:17 PM
so wuts the url of all the phone #'s and celeb emails, etc? email me eminemnavril_csc@yahoo.com
Posted by: carrie | February 21, 2005 9:55 PM
Sorry but as a courtesy to a few folks on the list, I'm not publishing it or any links to it.
If this troubles you, please contact Eminem at 917-776-7643.
Posted by: Brian | February 21, 2005 10:06 PM
E mail me 2!!!!
Posted by: ME | February 21, 2005 11:11 PM
CAN U PLZ SEND ME A LIST OF THE CONTACTS AND PHONE NUMBERS THAT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECITATED THX
Posted by: Cal | February 22, 2005 2:02 AM
plz e mail me christina aguileras number and the list thanx u all
and evry one should love paris its not her folt
Posted by: theo | February 22, 2005 3:39 AM
if any1 gets em please e-mail em to me?! please?:P rachael_macrae@hotmail.com
Posted by: rach | February 22, 2005 6:09 AM
if anyone has any celebrity phone numbers i would appreciate a list of them, thanks in advance for all the work
Posted by: marcus | February 22, 2005 8:36 AM
If ny1 has da #'s E-mail ME Thanks!
Posted by: Jason | February 22, 2005 12:09 PM
[redacted]
Posted by: Me | February 22, 2005 12:38 PM
yeah id like to see the list too pls eamil to pmason2001@yahoo.com
Posted by: robert | February 22, 2005 1:13 PM
Yea, I gotta see this list. I don't want to be the only one who hasn't and I can't find it on the web I'm Ericksberg.J@neu.edu
Posted by: Jaime | February 22, 2005 2:06 PM
anyone with the list...i would love to see it...could you please email it to me...i haven't been able to find it either...damn the establishment...hehe
Posted by: real phred | February 22, 2005 2:12 PM
Not many of you seem to be privy to the magnitude of offense, nor the penalty for such premeditated thievery and invasion. Paris is hot, and she likes to have fun. As for me, I'll hang out with Paris any day of the week before any of you dirt bags. Bye-
Posted by: t-nad | February 22, 2005 2:50 PM
U guys are all some losers trying to get stars phone numbers. What are you just going to cll and say hey. You look hella dumb. Respect privacy and get a life of your own.
Posted by: Paris | February 22, 2005 4:08 PM
The newest Unreleased phone numbers are out. Email me at [redacted] to 'actually' get the link to the pics and phone numbers. Over at [redacted] and yes it's a dot com, you can see the list on the front. Others such as sayhello which is a dot us, also had them. Get there before the bandwidth locks access up. Don't tell anyone where ou got these from - serious. Just released
Posted by: Clayton | February 22, 2005 4:15 PM
if any of u have the list email me at kurt_cobain0094@hotmail.com
Posted by: Arielle | February 22, 2005 4:35 PM
hey, i was wondering if you would PLEASE send me a link to my e-mail? i would not give it out.. i just really wanna see. I rap, and you know? I would like to get up with a recod label.. thank you
mamii_so_lyrical@yahoo.com
Posted by: Jenn | February 22, 2005 4:51 PM
Honestly. You guys would look stupid just calling to say hey. If you do call, I hope you get caught by the police or someone. That's like...total invasion of privacy. Losers. Leave Paris and her friend alone.
Just so you know, I'm 99.9% sure that by 12:00 AM (Wednesday, February 23), ALL sites with the phonebook will be GONE. Have fun searching :) NOT
Posted by: Tia Lauren Gucci | February 22, 2005 5:28 PM
ENOUGH ALREADY!
I WANT MY INTELLIGENT, SATIRICAL WEBSITE BACK. GET THE CHILDREN OUT OF HERE.
Posted by: STOP!!! | February 22, 2005 5:50 PM
here is her phone book [redacted]
Posted by: Bob | February 22, 2005 6:09 PM
Personally, I think it's terrible how you guys are asking for the celebrity's phone numbers. I, honestly, would NOT ask and/or call any numbers listed at a website. The celebrities do not want to be bothered by recieving hundreds of phone calls from desperate fans who just wanna stalk them and try to get the celebrities to put in a good word. (This coming from a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD who probably is a HUGE fan of over half the people in Miss Hilton's address book.)
Be smart, be courtieous, people. Leave the celebrities alone. How would you feel is some crazy person called your cell leaving you hundreds of messages?
I'm ashamed of you all.
Good day. - Samantha
Posted by: Samantha, 13, AR | February 22, 2005 6:29 PM
After wasting my time reading the ignorant and adolescent comments above to what I thought was a very funny article. I would like to point out that if any celeb. does not want their privacy invaded perhaps they should try stepping out of the spot light. Paris seems very content in taking as much of that light up for herself as possible. If she doesn’t want the media's attention then she should try being a little more discreet. Now in regards to the mystery person who hacked her phone I only have one thing to say.... Kudos. *claps* it provided some of us "losers" with the briefest chuckle in our weekend. I also think it is amusing that so many people are defending Paris when she would walk right past you on the street. You call us losers because we are laughing at her misfortune. however we are not the ones that flock in crowds to get a glimpse of her. Maybe you need to rethink your definition of that word.
Intelligent
Posted by: Compy666 | February 22, 2005 6:34 PM
is eminems number really routed through canada. [redacted]
Posted by: blogger | February 22, 2005 7:44 PM
PHONE NUMBER [redacted]
Posted by: ALYSSA MILANO | February 22, 2005 7:46 PM
THIS IS CARMENS CELL PHONE # [redacted]
Posted by: CARMEN ELECTRA | February 22, 2005 8:05 PM
HEY IF ANY ONE HAS THE LIST IT WOULD BE SO COOL 2 SEE!
SO IF ANYONE HAS IT EMAIL ME...KLARYSAH68@COMCAST,NET
THANKS...
Posted by: klarysah | February 22, 2005 8:17 PM
plz send me the names and numbers and e mails!!!! my s/n is GaJaLa92@cs.com
Posted by: Gabrielle | February 22, 2005 9:30 PM
Please if you have the list of all the numbers can you Please send it to me!!!!!
Posted by: Phuonganh | February 22, 2005 10:01 PM
Please if you have the list of all the numbers and emails can you Please send it to me!!!!!
Posted by: Phuonganh | February 22, 2005 10:03 PM
Jenn, samanatha i hope u know paris really doesnt give a crap about u or nebody else who is not a multimillionare. actually, she doesnt seem to be interested in anyone whos brainstem is fully functional, seeing as she is most likely incapable of associating with neone who is able to hold an intelligent conversation without, with lack of nething more interesting to say reverts to " duh...thats hot!" 20 times in each sentence. if she doesnt want people in her privite business she shud really cut down on humping dirtbags in front of videa cameras, flashing her nether regions at oh-so "exclusive" hollywood paries and in general acting like a complete tramp for the whole world to witness. she gives the Hilton family a bad name. im Ashamed of YOU for feeling sorry for the spoiled brat. i didnt feel bad for her when her lame-ass excuse for pornography was released and i feel even less sympathy for her now, or any of the self-absorbed, brain dead excuses for celebrities on her T-mobile who are throwing hissy fits because their so called "privacy" is no longer (and never has been) private.
i hate celebrities.
Posted by: Alexxxxxxxx | February 22, 2005 10:43 PM
email me the list of #'s if enyone gets it...ill love you forever!!!
thanks jackie!
Posted by: jackie | February 22, 2005 11:01 PM
[redacted] HAS THE UNEDITED LIST AND THE PRIVATE LIST FROM HACK #2. FULL SIZE PICKS, ALL THE NOTES, EVERYTHING. ANOTHER SITE [redacted] HAS PRIVATE SERVERS - LOOK ON FRONT PAGE.
Posted by: BigDaddy | February 23, 2005 12:15 AM
You want a number, try
[redacted]
or
[redacted]
Posted by: sure | February 23, 2005 5:53 AM
I really like your letter! Well done!
Posted by: Ashley | February 23, 2005 9:10 AM
Hey wuzzup,
i swear you are the shit!!! I don't hate Paris Hilton but I do think it's cool that you hacked her CELL!!! I would really appreciate it if you sended me a list of the phone numbers and the e-mails of the celebrities just to see who changed them and who didn't by the way I think that Lindsay Lohan didn't just because she want's to act though THAT'S WHAT i HEARD ON TV but hey I do hate her she is the stupidest brat and i can't stand her!!! My E-MAIL IS: kelly_girl8@hotmail.com THANKS!!!
Posted by: Kelly | February 23, 2005 11:01 AM
Why would any one who has the list take thier time to send it to you? You're a bunch of twits.
Posted by: Angela | February 23, 2005 11:21 AM
List? Anyone? Please? alpacamaster@hotmail.com
Posted by: Stephen | February 23, 2005 12:25 PM
Just to say,I know Eminems number.Contact him at [redacted].Geez,I havent tried it yet but maybe he alt\ready changed it
Posted by: Ella | February 23, 2005 1:25 PM
I have been your reading your postings for many months, and enjoyed them tremendously. I assumed your other readers were sophisticated adults. I was very, very wrong.
Posted by: a loyal reader | February 23, 2005 2:25 PM
you all mother fuckers need a life .go fuck a cow or something pleas
Posted by: lisa | February 23, 2005 3:29 PM
wow. such a gargantuan effort to shame the dog pawless. whatthefuckever. anyway. i appreciate your effort of excersizing apparently raw anti-conformist, anti-pacifistic religion you so wish to conquer. but quite honestly, i find you rather upchucking than slightly intellectually stimulating. keep up the shit mess.
[ Does anyone understand this? -B.]
Posted by: LAVIE | February 23, 2005 5:14 PM
Please Email Me THe List Ill Do ANything Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
funkymonkey67898@aol.com
Posted by: Jonathon | February 23, 2005 5:56 PM
funkymonkey67898@aol.com
Please Please Send Me The List!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: jonathon | February 23, 2005 5:57 PM
There The List
Posted by: Anominous | February 23, 2005 6:25 PM
ALL OF THE UN-EDITED PHONE #'S ARE AT HTTP://[redacted] PLUS THEY HAVE THE 2ND UNRELEASED HACK LIST. DON'T TELL ANYONE OFF THIS SITE! I SAW IT MYSELF - FULL LIST, PICS. PEACE OUT.
Posted by: FatCrew | February 23, 2005 8:38 PM
Can anyone please email me the a website for the phonebook of P. HIlTON !
Posted by: stacey | February 23, 2005 10:35 PM
Plz, can someone send me the link, Thanks!
Posted by: Steve | February 23, 2005 10:36 PM
hey if one of use got to see the list ples let me see was avril in it 4 real
Posted by: evil raven | February 24, 2005 12:38 AM
Thank you, boys and girls, for reinforcing my belief that the American public school system is a failure.
Commenting now limited to the elderly and/or literate.
Posted by: Brian | February 24, 2005 8:39 AM
A failure indeed. How did you people even find your way to this site? Hilarious posting. Brian, you articulate my sentiments better than I ever could.
Posted by: Wha? | February 24, 2005 4:31 PM
Thank you for the humor!
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person on the planet that thinks this woman is a waste of space, only you've phrased it far, far more wonderfully than I could have!
Again, thank you for the hillarious article - you truly did make my day.
Posted by: Peggy Archer | February 25, 2005 12:28 PM
I LOVE HILARY DUFF! ANYONE GOT HER EMAIL!?
[Upon futher reflection I've decided to allow comments like this one from the un-bright bulbs in the room because of their potential for entertainment. -B.]
Posted by: Baylee | February 25, 2005 9:32 PM
hey if any has the phone numbers on paris hilton's address book please send it to me.
[Thank you for not comprehending anything. -B.]
Posted by: mimi | February 25, 2005 11:38 PM
I would like the list PLEASE!!!!!!!
Thank you SO much*
[Thank you for not comprehending anything as well. -B.]
Posted by: Whitney | February 26, 2005 11:41 AM
PLease send me the list thanx hunnies
iglesias101@earthlink.net
[Sigh. -B]
Posted by: santana | February 26, 2005 3:06 PM
if ANYONE at all has THE WHOLE list, please tell me, i would like to leave a personal message for all of the stars and how much i admire them.
PLEASE send it to me!
[You are a stalker. A stalker who does not read before posting. -B.]
Posted by: amanda | February 27, 2005 12:25 AM
anyone have a list of the numbers that were hacked from paris hiltons cell? can i peeeze have a list?????
[Hopeless. Thanks for playing. -B.]
Posted by: me | February 27, 2005 12:41 AM
shoot, i am on the rode traveling, with no tv. i just want to see the list of numbers and email address's. personally the people on the list. I can care less about them. They all are just a big waste of talent and space. darkfairyprincess@hotmail.com please send me something!!
[ Criminy. This is the most appaling, illiterate ramble my poor little weblog has ever had to suffer through. And you're a hypocrite. I wish Simon Cowell were here to berate you. -B. ]
Posted by: darkfairy | February 27, 2005 11:44 AM
please send me some #'s please!!!!
[ 7, 3 and 11. Hope that helps. Thanks for paying attention. -B.]
Posted by: Amber | February 27, 2005 4:33 PM
PLEEZ SEND ME THE LIST!!
[Amazing, really. -B.]
Posted by: sumone!! | February 27, 2005 7:05 PM
can someone please send me the complete list as well to nyguy21infl@aol.com, I appreciate it, thanks
Posted by: C | February 28, 2005 2:22 AM
I'd better get her out of my cell phone too, whoever she is. Is she related to the hotel chain? She never mentioned it. I swear, all I know is, I wake up in a Hilton, some lady named Paris comes in, says she's there to change the sheets and I'm out $159. Ok ok, maybe it was a Days Inn. All right, maybe the whole thing never happened. The point is, I had a reservation. They can't just say, "Oh, well you see, we over-booked the rooms; sorry." I mean I'll just stay at the Westin next time. Talk about customer service!
Posted by: Buenosalse | February 28, 2005 1:06 PM
can someone send me the list or a web site with the list?? thanx
Posted by: johnny dell | February 28, 2005 7:54 PM
Wow. It's completley true about Paris Hilton. Paris is spoiled.
Posted by: Rachel | February 28, 2005 10:21 PM
I'm a little late, but if anyone still has the list please let me know.
[This is amazing. Will it ever end? -B.]
Posted by: kristyn | March 1, 2005 9:10 AM
email me to, and whatever else you can get on celebirtys. at naptown2002@yahoo.com
[Brilliant. "Naptown" seems appropriate. -B.]
Posted by: paul | March 1, 2005 2:42 PM
plez email it to me i really want it oh my gosh i have been lookin for it for ever thankx
Posted by: jenni | March 3, 2005 7:03 PM
My God. The irony, the irony.....
Posted by: stevie | March 5, 2005 8:03 AM
PLease can someone send methe phone numbers and the email addresses! email me at hoptink222@yahoo.com Please Please Please thank you!
[ When does it end? When does it end? -B. ]
Posted by: Beth Barros | March 5, 2005 11:26 AM
Well, everyone, just go to yahoo search, and type in DFNCSTC, thats all u put, go from there, and ta-da! the list is there! but let me tell u something, i tried calling about 10 celebs, and all their phone #'s are changed, so , a hint of advice, exciting, yes, a waste of time, yes!!!
[ The irony being that they were forced to change their numbers because people like you were actually calling them. Creepy? Yes.
Easy on the commas. -B.]
Posted by: Brooke | March 5, 2005 1:39 PM
Yo if anyone has the list send it to S3x-crving@blackplanet.com
Posted by: FAn3 | March 5, 2005 5:54 PM
The only # I would have liked was Vin Diesels, just to hear his voice is all.
SS
Posted by: Shantle | March 6, 2005 2:14 PM
{ this is to B.J.} LIKE YOU DIDN'T CALL ANY OF THEM
Posted by: Brooke | March 6, 2005 9:44 PM
This could go on for quite some time. I was considering putting in a fake one, just for fun, but I am too revulsed by the reality to even attempt to satirize the situation.
Wonder if she had the phone numbers for Dick Cavett or William F. Buckley, Jr....
[ On the bright side, this has given us a good glimpse of today's youth. I now realize we're doomed, so I'll be enjoying the next few years to the fullest before this country implodes under the crushing density we've witnessed here. -B. ]
Posted by: Stevie | March 7, 2005 7:43 AM
please send me the list if anyone has it
i heared its a must have
[ I heared literacy is a must-have. Any idea where it might have gone? -B.]
Posted by: e.c | March 14, 2005 10:49 PM
Hello Brian
Hope you're well. You know, you may have missed a trick with this entry - I see a 'Dr Abu meets long distance call scam for celebrity phone numbers'.
You could have retired to the relative comfort of some idyllic beach location by now judging by the volume of inane responses this entry has generated.
Take care
Posted by: Mukiwa | March 15, 2005 8:38 PM
LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE I LOVED HER PICTURES AND WHO CARES WHAT SHE SAYS ON THE PHONE YOU ALL NEED TO GROW UY
Posted by: PONY | March 16, 2005 5:08 PM
PLEASE SEND ME THE LIST>>>>>>>>>> stispade@hotmail.com PLEASE I WANT IT SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: slim | March 16, 2005 8:09 PM
please email me the list at chadvolb@yahoo.com
Posted by: chad | March 16, 2005 9:38 PM
PLEASE SEND ME THA LIST OF NUMBERS IN PARIS'S CELL PHONE I'LL EVEN PAY FOR THEM...LET ME KNOW
[ Can this get any dumber? Seriously, can you kids all go away now? -B. ]
Posted by: jamie | March 17, 2005 4:22 PM
the list is old and there numbers are not in there anymore so i wouldnt even fuck with it
Posted by: brooke | March 19, 2005 2:12 PM
i would like to say that all of you people that are trying to get the celebs numbers are rediculous you all have seriously no life u all want there numbers so bad but u dont give 2 craps about them they have a life and a career i dont think they need u little amatures to call them they are busy they wouldnt ask u for your friends numbers so dont ask them for their friends numbers
[ I approve of the sentiment, but not the spelling. -B. ]
Posted by: rachel | March 19, 2005 4:01 PM
hey however this hacker is,
hey could you please give ashlee simpson's number shes my all time favorite celebrity. just one phone call please. please e-mail me back at Blueyes_02468@yahoo.com
thanxxxxx,
chelsea
[ Creepy. -B. ]
Posted by: chelsea | March 25, 2005 12:04 AM
I just wanted to know who has tha numbers and can I get them because I want to get in touch with Lil Jon to further my singing carrer with him and his crunck family. Please Email me at tibabemom@yahoo.com
Thanks
Posted by: Diamond | March 29, 2005 11:14 AM
I would deeply appreciate it if you guy's would stop trying to get my phone list numbers. I understand that you all are dear fans of mine but my personal life is my personal life. I learned about this site through a friend. Thanks for loving me!! Chow!
That's Hot!,
Paris
[ Pretending you're Paris is worse than being Paris. -B.]
Posted by: Paris Hilton | March 29, 2005 11:21 AM
can someone please send me paris hilton's phonebook (all of the numbers please) thanks send them to hunybuny935@sbcglobal.net
Posted by: Colleen | March 30, 2005 6:50 PM
plz send Paris`s numbers to me at paris_hilton4523@yahoo.com plz!
Posted by: Kenzie | April 1, 2005 7:21 PM
hey im like hilary duffs # 1 fan but i luv all stars all of them if anyone has alot of real celebs/n can u pleaz im me or email me pleaz im new and do not have anyone on my buddy list yet my s/n is fallonrb thax so much if u do
[ Creepy creepy creepy creepy creepy creepy. -B.]
Posted by: rebecca | April 3, 2005 9:30 PM
hey if anyone has stars cell # pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz im begging u can u please give them to me
Posted by: rebecca | April 3, 2005 9:33 PM
Please e-mail paris's phone book to rapperem69.thank u.
[ Keep moving. Nothing to see here. -B. ]
Posted by: Cody Shuey | April 13, 2005 11:34 AM
HOOK me up with those numbers i wanna chit chat with the celebs i see on tv if anyone is courteous enough to send me a list it will be greatly appreciated!!
Posted by: Mr.MAN | April 15, 2005 5:39 PM
Pleez can i get Lil Jon's phone numbers. At the trl awards he won an award and said stop callin my cell phone, I know u got it through Paris. Shit!! I need him,
Posted by: Alexa | April 16, 2005 6:15 PM
Any one who gets eminems number please give it to me.
Posted by: Justin | April 17, 2005 4:20 AM
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i want that list plzzzzzz send it to me soe on at a_dias@excite
[ Will this ever end? -B. ]
Posted by: alex | April 27, 2005 1:49 AM
Anyone got Dr. Kevorkian's phone #? I seriously
want to off myself right now. No hope for the future.
The best was Brooke addressing you as B.J., apparently not having reached the college level course discussing the use of parentheses.
Mr.Sack, just found your site today. Kudos, it's
hilarious.
Posted by: Dumbfounded | April 29, 2005 12:54 PM
someone please send me the list of the celebs cell phone #
Posted by: cory | May 2, 2005 9:34 PM
please send me a few numbers or give me the web page of the celebertiys #'s thanks
Posted by: Blaire | May 4, 2005 11:07 PM
I wouldn't mind havin' tha list! sumone plz send it to me ... thx a bunches
~!*muah*!~
Posted by: Britney | May 6, 2005 1:06 AM
someone please send me the list of celebs phone numbers or the link page..
Thanks
Posted by: Christina | May 6, 2005 7:13 AM
if someone has the list will you plz send it to me?
plz and thank you
Posted by: shell | May 10, 2005 4:12 PM
send me the list 2 pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzz
my mail is hsvtzr@hotmail.com
[ Y'all go away now. Kay? -B ]
Posted by: yaz | May 12, 2005 12:52 AM
Tee hee hee , if Paris Belives in Karma, like I do she would be laughing as well.
Posted by: mairbear | May 13, 2005 7:14 PM
Can I PLEASE have the list email me at xpeachezx99@yahho.com!
THANK YOU
Posted by: Amii | May 14, 2005 7:57 PM
hey send me the list lol... or carmen electras number
Posted by: Delizzie | May 16, 2005 8:29 PM
you guys are all dumb! stop bieng desperate.. If a cleb wants to get to know you damn it they will.. for know you are nothing to them but a fan,. hello! they don'tr even know you exist!!!!
Posted by: post it | May 19, 2005 1:38 PM
omg you people are crazy! i love to come to boards like this to have a good laugh!! get a life
Posted by: MeGz | June 2, 2005 9:23 PM
OMG!! I just can't stop laughing at all the comments..the Grammar Cop must have had a field day all the while! If all the mistakes had been fined this site would have earned enough to compete with the Hilton chain..
The comments are hilarious (but not as much as the main post)- all the spelling mistakes, the grammar, the nouns, the abbreviations..man oh man, and I thought English was the language spoken by the Americans. But don't tell that to the British.
This site,like, so rocks. Yeah!Wazzup duude.Like, whatever.
Posted by: ilovecheese | June 13, 2005 3:09 PM
hey - the little phone icon on her tmobile profile is wrong - she used a Sidekick! ;)
Posted by: yen | June 14, 2005 7:31 AM
Im posting spam and i dont want any emails else i'll get ya all sue'ed.
Laterz
LilBowWow
Posted by: LBW | June 24, 2005 6:56 PM
i think paris hilton is hot
Posted by: mike wigalow | June 27, 2005 10:08 AM
hey if anyone has paris cellphone numbers please e-mail me and give me them thanks.
Posted by: martha | July 10, 2005 4:30 PM
Who wants tha phone list to paris hilton I have tha list rite know
Posted by: Unknown | July 20, 2005 10:06 PM
e-mail me the list at durrtylittlesecret@yahoo.com
Posted by: Ashley | July 22, 2005 2:21 PM
I am in love with Paris Hilton. Shes my total idol. Everyone askes you this but could you please send the adress book. That would mean a bunch to me. And I would not even bother the stars I would just say, well nothing. Just to hear there voices would make me die
so please send it
kierra
So terribly sad.
Posted by: Kierra Lawrence | July 23, 2005 7:29 PM
Hey guys! If anyone has celebs phone numbers e-mail us!
BlossomL2003@yahoo.com
Posted by: Lisa | August 23, 2005 12:42 AM
hi who ever has any numbers from paris's address book please send them to me my address is michelle180291@hotmail.com
Posted by: michelle | August 26, 2005 7:40 AM
yo yo yo
i wana reach my hommy dog lil'jon.
i need to get my crunk on so i need his cell
your gangsta dog crunker,
lee brown
yo
Posted by: lee brown | August 27, 2005 12:03 AM
omg guys seriously keep ur 'opions' to urself okay!!! and yeah paris hilton may well be the biggist slut ever but just leave it alone its none of ur busniss wot she does y do u even care? its her life so maybe u shuld live ur own...no hard feelings aye i just think its stupied all u guys fussing over her so just get over it! move on :) ! shes a celebrity 4 god sakes n shes got the body so y not flaunt it! eventually ppl will get sick of her n she will slowly settle down, but u have to admit simple life is sort of funny? byebye xox
[ OMG- When do you start learning English? ]
Posted by: Sammy | August 27, 2005 8:48 PM
Hey I just want to ask anyone if they have any phone numbers to celebs like jennifer aniston HILARY DUFF LINDSAY LOHAN JESSICA SIMPSON ANGELINA JOLIE BRITNEY SPEARS BRAD PITT COLIN FARRELL NICOLE RICHIE KATE HUDSON MATTHEW MCGONAGY JENNIFER LOPEZ RACHEL MCADAMS JESSICA ALBA TERI HATCHER EVA LONGORIA TYRA BANKS GWEN STAFANI KELLY CLARKSON just basically any celeb phone number I will do anything to get my hand on a number ESPECIALLY HILARY DUFF AND LINDSAY LOHAN I LOVE THEM AND THEIR MOVIES THEY ARE AWESOME AND IF YOU GIVE ME THEIR NUMBER YOU MIGHT BE GETTING A MAGAZINE SAYING MY NAME IN IT ABOUT THE MESSAGE THAT I AM GOING TO LEAVE ITS NOT DIRTY OR ANYTHING YOULL SEE NOTHING BAD THOUGH I PROMISE CONTACT ME AT lindzylohan@yahoo.com SPEAK
Posted by: Lindsay Fan | September 11, 2005 3:38 PM
LOL, you guys are lame... how is a celebrity any different than us? because everyone know them? Pffft, ask yourself this.. would you like everyone in the world to know EVERYTHING about you? nah.. and what are you going to do when you get the number, phrank it? ask her out on a date? LOL children please. i think it is cool the guy hacked the shit (if he really did, witch i doubt cause contacts are stored internal not on the service providers databases. it is only cool cause he proved it is possible to get anyones information) now.. also the person that said he/she would hang out with paris hilton anyday... YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD, she is prolly the biggest fucking retard in the world.. you dont know who she is. maybe she set this guy up how would you know... is she cool if she did that? anyways i dont know how much of this is going to fit so ill stop now...
I own U all
Posted by: John | September 15, 2005 1:06 PM
please send me Paris Hilton's list to this email address:
interceptor5@walla.com
thank you
[ This is awesome, especially because it comes 3 minutes after the previous post. -B. ]
Posted by: Anthony | September 15, 2005 1:27 PM
me i don waka reach here
Posted by: jaga jaga | September 16, 2005 6:31 PM
linsay lohan is a smart girl
Posted by: genesis | September 21, 2005 3:02 PM
please send me paris hilton`s phone list on the e-mail: nata_2@net.hr
Posted by: nana | September 30, 2005 3:00 PM
i want ushers #
Posted by: britt | October 2, 2005 6:53 PM
can some1 send me the list thanks; matt2249_7@msn.com
[ I think it's awesome that you kids read and comprehend like spider monkeys. - B]
Posted by: matt | October 11, 2005 10:38 PM
You're right. There is nothing to see here. At least not from the children. Sad and creepy. They must have landed here by doing celeb searches. They're sure not here for the literature. Where are their parents? When did these kids last visit a school? Please post a list of education and literacy resources for these lost souls living out their lives vicariously through unworthy idols. Turn off the TV and radio. Twelve steps if necessary. Read a book. Go outside. Did I mention turning off the TV and radio. Did we find the parents? Squarely where the blame lies! But, don't despair. I have kids. My friends have kids. They are not all like this. Our kids are not represented here. They channel their energies and curiosities toward fulfilling endeavors. I just hope the kids we heard from here receive enough training to get my drive-thru order right. Keep moving monkey spiders. There is nothing to see here.
Posted by: Bob | October 20, 2005 11:23 AM
Wound up here the long way 'round through your eBay ad. Funny, funny man! Your comments regarding the despairing illiterate wails (Chewbacca had better communications skills)were priceless. Not sure which are better - the pleas for the list or the ranting denunciations of those begging for the list.
Posted by: Elizabeth | October 24, 2005 1:29 AM
can someone send me the list? i just really want may-kate's cell number..email me quick!
[ ...because she hasn't changed it in the 8 months that have transpired. ]
Posted by: Sylvia | October 25, 2005 10:41 PM
Wow.. Just wow. I weap knowing that these people might possibly have to construct an actual thought within their heads that affects me in the future. And, as a 23-year-old, I am shocked at what might possibly be "my generation".
At any rate, good site. I enjoy the comedic value it brings, no matter how terrifying the result.
Posted by: Extravert | October 28, 2005 4:31 PM
Brilliant article, even funnier comments. Had me laughing from start to finish...except when reading a few of the more creepy, stalker-like comments.
I do worry about people sometimes.
o_O
Posted by: Jennifer | October 28, 2005 7:08 PM
Dear Brian,
Please keep people from posting anymore more " plez send me fon #s!!! i luv u!" 's My head hurts from reading that.
[ I no what u meen! LOL ROTFL FEMA -B.]
Posted by: amazed | October 30, 2005 3:10 PM
I just wanted to say that reading the article and the comments made my day. I haven't laughed this much in a long time! Although midway through the comments I was beginning to feel that my reading level was dropping abit and I was becoming scared at the fact that people were still asking for the numbers months later - and here I am completely forgetting the whole situtation happened...shame on me. By the way, first time at the site...great stuff!!
Posted by: Loredana | October 30, 2005 9:10 PM
B- FEMA?? LMAO!!
[ See? Subtle works. You needn't beat people over the head with jokes. The right people will find them. For the rest, there's UPN. -B.]
Posted by: Deb | November 4, 2005 9:28 PM
i have a couple of telephone numbers for you guys..but dont call ashton kutcher, the ass shut the phone on my face and it was a long distance phone call!! cameron diaz: [ redacted ] ashton kutcher: [ redacted ] avril lavigne: [ redacted ] drew barrymore: [ redacted ]. ok, i think that will be enough, but if u want snoop dog's number and 50 cent and ludacris's just mail me. [ redacted ]
have fun.
[ I'm sure they will. Thanks for playing. -B. ]
Posted by: star finder | November 9, 2005 5:19 AM
Hey will someone please email me the list of number and emails thanks!!!! my email is [redacted]@yahoo.com
Posted by: Kayla | November 9, 2005 10:03 AM
Email me the numbers at Pimpedoutchaz@aol.com pleaseeeeee
Posted by: Charlie | November 9, 2005 3:13 PM
This Message is different from any others i love Hilary Duff so much and i really want to talk to her more then anything in my life please please email it to me at nykkvit1@aol.com
Posted by: Swordz | November 10, 2005 1:51 PM
The last one was the best, because it was "different from any others".
Posted by: Jen | November 10,