Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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It’s Denise and I Am In Dougie

I pay the PhoneTag company $10 a month for their service which transcribes voicemail messages and emails them to me. This comes in really handy as I can look up messages for reference, keep a record of when calls came in and store unnecessary MP3 audio copies of messages which I can drag out at a later date “On August 22nd, 2009 you said you loved me. Here’s audio proof!”
PhoneTag uses both humans and computers for the sake of accuracy, and according to a recent study it’s accurate about 86% of the time. The other 14% of the time it leaves me wondering what country the transcriber lives in, and what the hell the caller actually meant:

  • It’s Will calling from Abraham regarding dairy clean for tomorrow, they need more of your time to two ten so afternoon two ten and lets not leave the office for dairy clean.
  • Hey, Brian. My name is Sarah. I work for the Shield Skin City. You had met one of my partners over, Joe over in the park.
  • After much consideration and hearing about all New York city public schools will be closed we have decided to close disney for tomorrow due to the storm.
  • I just want to know how Rob hard wipe your ass. Yeah, Grog will be there, probably Berlin and it might be in 3rd place of course I know.
  • It’s just about that idea, we’re not gonna go to the park. I thought it was, no the park the sales. I’m up there with Weng but we’re just gonna go to a plan thing but not the thing that you’re at but then, ’cause I realize I’m not as supposed that I thought calendar.
  • It’s Denise and I am in Dougie.
  • This is Cristy Yales at Ranch Canada on me. It’s gonna be 5 contract solo paying in FoxGal. A complex eyelet erect to have dysfunction medication, ships December 9th to the 12th in Miami.
  • She had may had swelled your coat that was stuff in that corner when she had her accident. But she’s worried about that.
  • It’s Jamie. 9:30, Saturday morning. I’m gonna be down in gent collecting small pot bills.
  • I wanna talk to you about the bomb monopoly.

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