Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Grammar Cop: Coney Island Crime Spree

coney1.jpg
Count 1: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun.
Count 2: Rendering grammatical mischief permanent.
Count 3: Public display of grammatical negligence.

coney2.jpg
Counts 1&2: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun.
Count 3: Unwarranted hyphenation.
Count 4: Rendering grammatical mischief permanent.
Count 5: Public display of grammatical negligence.
Note: The squiggle over the “N” is not under U.S. jurisdiction.

coney3.jpg
Count 1: Negligent spelling of “Daiquiri.”
Count 2: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a non-existent plural noun.
Count 3: Failure to correctly spell the cornerstone of your business.
Count 4: Rendering grammatical mischief permanent.
Count 5: Public display of grammatical negligence.
Note: The squiggle over the “N” is not under U.S. jurisdiction.

coney4.jpg
Count 1: Negligent spelling of “Racing.”
Count 2: Failure to spell 50% of the business name correctly.
Count 3: Rendering grammatical mischief permanent.
Count 4: Public display of grammatical negligence.

coney5.jpg
Count 1: Unwarranted apostrophe usage.
Count 2: Rendering grammatical mischief permanent.
Count 3: Public display of grammatical negligence.
Count 4: Failure to notice correct spelling over the three baskets in the back.

coney6.jpg
Count 1: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun.
Count 2: Rendering grammatical mischief permanent.
Count 3: Public display of grammatical negligence.
Defendant: Multiple defendants, oddly all located within dart-throwing distance from each other in Coney Island – which is not an island.
Report: Officer and partners were surrounded by grammatical mischief, drunks, and questionable midriffs. Crimes were recorded. Rather than investigate further, officer chose to eat hot dogs and play Shoot The Freak as it was hot and life is short.
Fine: Lifetime supply of daiquiris, Nathan’s hot dogs and stuffed animals.


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