From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


Welcome to the MTA Subway Store!

Introducing the Orwell XL Transparent Backpack, for New York’s busy subway commuters.
The Orwell XL Transparent Backpack is the latest rage in the Knee-Jerk Reaction(tm) series of subway gear, trading over-rated privacy concerns for an empowering sense of security.
Not only will the Orwell XL vaguely ease the conscience of your fellow passengers, it helps make the NYPD’s Herculean task of scrutinizing millions of passengers slightly less improbable, thus improving our freedom.
Best of all, the Orwell XL helps eliminate all the time-consuming hassles of random, politically-correct police searches. Whether you’re a Muslim male between the ages of 18-34 or a hot blonde in a white dress, the Orwell XL Transparent Backpack suits anyone falling under a blanket policy of suspicion. That would be you.
The Orwell XL Transparent Backpack is available in one color: Very Clear. Its roomy interior offers plenty of space for your stuff, and there’s even a special pocket for your future National Biometric ID Radio Frequency GPS MetroCard.
Going to the gym? A Goth? Look for our transparent duffel bags and trench coats, coming very soon.


Stay indoors as often as possible, but not with your step-dad. Most indoor crimes involve your step-dad. Most criminals have what seasoned detectives call "crime face." If you see someone with crime face, avoid them. But …


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