Introducing the Orwell XL Transparent Backpack, for New York’s busy subway commuters.
The Orwell XL Transparent Backpack is the latest rage in the Knee-Jerk Reaction(tm) series of subway gear, trading over-rated privacy concerns for an empowering sense of security.
Not only will the Orwell XL vaguely ease the conscience of your fellow passengers, it helps make the NYPD’s Herculean task of scrutinizing millions of passengers slightly less improbable, thus improving our freedom.
Best of all, the Orwell XL helps eliminate all the time-consuming hassles of random, politically-correct police searches. Whether you’re a Muslim male between the ages of 18-34 or a hot blonde in a white dress, the Orwell XL Transparent Backpack suits anyone falling under a blanket policy of suspicion. That would be you.
The Orwell XL Transparent Backpack is available in one color: Very Clear. Its roomy interior offers plenty of space for your stuff, and there’s even a special pocket for your future National Biometric ID Radio Frequency GPS MetroCard.
Going to the gym? A Goth? Look for our transparent duffel bags and trench coats, coming very soon.
Brian Sack
I started Banterist in 2003 after this conversation with my cat. It led to all sorts of good things.
Better they should sell clues for those idiots addicted to bringing backpacks onto public transit. I hope they outlaw the suckers, I’ve been swiped by more of those things than I caer to remember.
It’s also a great way to impress other New Yorkers. This way I can keep the latest David Sedaris book, my Pilates membership card, and a bottle of Kabbalah water always visible.
My school required clear plastic backpacks for two years…I think they would do good in airports, myselfs.
Next up – transparent chest cavity so the administration can readily see what you believe in your heart to be true.
hi. HOW CAN I GO ABOUT ORDERING ONE OF THESE ORWELL XL TRANSPARENT BACKPACKS AND HOW MUCH ARE THEY. PLEASE E-MAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE ,I NEED IT BY SEPTEMBER 1.THANK YOU .
[ Sigh. -B. ]
you can purchase clear bags at www,clearormeshbackpacks.com if anyone is interested