Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Tip: How Commas Work

Commas are quite small, yet they pack a lot of punch as far as being able to completely alter the meaning of a sentence.
Let’s say you wanted an iPhone and were forced to sign a contract with its sole service “provider” AT&T. And let’s say that the coverage with AT&T is so bad that you regret having signed a contract with them. You might say:
I’m sorry I have AT&T.
Now, let’s say you’re on the phone and because you have AT&T the call keeps dropping out. You want to apologize to the person with whom you are trying to communicate. You take the same sentence and simply add a comma:
I’m sorry, I have AT&T.
The sentence no longer expresses regret for having a two-year contract with a shoddy mobile phone company but instead tells the individual you had hoped to have a conversation but can’t because your shoddy mobile phone company won’t let you.
All that from a little comma!
Next week we’ll talk about how putting quotes around a word suggests you’re being facetious.


Previously

If we lived in North Korea we wouldn't dare say anything about this photograph which was taken of their Dear Leader at the Dongbong collective farm (snicker, snicker). Instead, we'd be afraid of being sent …

Next

Pret-a-Poster! Download this PDF, print, tack it up near the office water cooler and wait for the outrage and disbelief. Extra points if your co-workers tear the office apart looking for the Yellow Pages.