After my initial Nigerian Email Experiment, I had lost contact with my friend Dr. Abu. The duration of the lapse was long enough that I figured he was gone. Moved on. Caught on to my whole Michael Bloomberg thing. The rambling responses I was sending him. The fact that I never gave him the telephone numbers he was looking for.
But no.
I received an email from him yesterday that totally caught me off guard. ironically, right after I had begun a new email experiment with a con artist in South Africa.
So Abu is back. The tale continues…
From: abu hassan
Subject: re:re: VERY URGENT
Date: 30 October 2003
DEAR FRIEND,
IT WELL NOW THAT YOUR FUND IS READY AND IT WILL BE SHIP OUT IN CASH TO HOLLAND BY THE END OF TODAY.
THE COMPANY INCHARGE OF THE FUND IS CALL OCEAN DIPLOMATIC COURIER AGENCY, THEY WILL BE MOVING THE CASH INTO A TRUNK BOX TO HOLLAND WHICH I HAVE GIVEN THEM YOUR PHONE AND CONTACT E-MAIL ADDRESS TO REACH YOU ON PHONE AS SOON AS THE CONSIGNMENT ARRIVE BY MONDAY.
PLEASE CO-OPERATE WITH THEM AS THE HEAD OF THE COMPANY IS CALL DR. RAJI WILLIAMS . HE WAS ASSIGNED BY THE CENTRAL BANK TO HEAD THE PAYMENT COMITTEE TO HOLLAND.
I SHALL WAIT TO RECEIVE ANY INFORMATION FROM THEM WHICH THEY WILL PASS TO YOU. PLEASE START PREPARING FOR YOUR TRIP TO HOLLAND AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU PAY THE FUND INTO THE BANKK ACCOUNT. AS SOON AS YOU BUY YOUR TICKET LET ME KNOW SO THAT I WILL FLY DIRECT TO HOLLAND FOR MY OWN SHARE.
REGARDS,
ABU HASSAN.
He’s back! I thought the jig was up. I was wrong. Now he’s allegedly going to Holland. We never even talked about Holland. All I can figure is that somehow he’s confused me for someone else who was falling for the con. Raji Williams will be contacting me? Great!
This arrives a few hours later:
From: abu hassan
Subject: re:VERY URGENT
Date: 30 October 2003
DEAR FRIEND,
THANKS FOR KEEPING YOU SO LONG WITHOUT GIVEN YOU THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE PAYMENT.
THE AUTHORITIES CONCERN FOR THE RELEASE OF THE FUND HAS TOLD THAT THE FUND WILL BE SHIP OUT IN CASH TO HOLLAND THROUGH DIPLOMATIC SOURCE BY THE END OF TODAY, THE HEAD OF DIPLOMATIC COURIER AGENCY HEADED BY DR. RAJI WILLIAMS WILL GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW WHEN TO ARRIVE HOLLAND TO PICK UP THE CASH.
INSTRUCTION: THE CASH WILL BE LOADED INSIDE TWO TRUNK BOXES AND A CODE WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU SO THAT WHEN YOU ARRIVE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFIED YOUR OWN CONSIGNMENT.
AS SOON AS THEY REACH YOU BY THE OFFICIALS WHEN THEY ARRIVE HOLLAND AMSTERDAM BY MONDAY, DO NOT HESITATE TO REACH ME AS I WILL LIKE TO JOIN YOU THERE AND RECEIVE THE FUND SO THAT WE CAN GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY AFTER WE RECEIVE THE FUND IN CASH.
THE OFFICIAL WILL HELP US TO OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT WITH THERE CONNECTION IN HOLLAND BANK AND GET THE FUND TRANFER INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
PLEASE CONTACT ME NOW ON THIS NUMBER 00234-**********. REMEMBER THIS NUMBER ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU DONT FORGET IT , IT’S ONLY NUMBER YOU CAN GET ME NOW.
THANKS
DR. ABU HASSAN
Okay, apparently I need to remember this number and always make sure I don’t forget it. Redundant, but whatever. Trunk boxes full of cash? Sounds great! He follows up the following morning, and now I have to wonder if he’s in fact screwing with me me too. It begins to get bizarre.
From: abu hassan
Subject: DEAR BROTHER I’M BACK TO THE COUNTRY
Date: 31 October 2003
DEAR FRIEND,
I FORGOT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE PERSON WHO WAS WRITTEN YOU SINCE ARE MY COLLEAGUE IN THE BUSINESS SINCE I WASN’T ARROUNT, NOW I’M IN THE COUNTRY TO PURSUE THE WHOLE TRANSFER AND SEE THAT EVERY THING WORK OUT FINE.
I ENJOYED MY TRIP TO PARIS AND THEY HAVE A NICE TOURIST CENTRES IN THERE EVERY WHERE IS SO CLEAN AND COOL. I SAW SOME HOTELS LIKE IBIS HOTEL , FUMULE 1 , ETAP HOTEL AND OTHER THING. I WILL LIKE US TO TRAVEL THERE AGAIN WHEN WE MEET IN HOLLAND FOR OUR FUND.
PLEASE LET HAVE A CODE WHEN I WRITE YOU , YOU SHOULD REMEMBER THAT MY ENGLISH AND MY COLLEAGUES OWN ARE NOT THE SAME.
OUR CODE FROM TODAY SHOULD BE [ MY BROTHER ] WHEN EVER YOU WRITE ME ADDRESS ME AS YOUR BROTHER.
MY DIRECT NUMBER IS 00234-**********. I WILL CALL YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS AFTER I MAKE SURE THAT THE CONSIGNMENT ARRIVE HOLLAND IN GOOD FAITH.
HOW IS WHEATHER OVER THERE ?
REGARDS,
YOURS BROTHER
DR. ABU HASSAN
This is awesome. He’s been to Paris – apparently that means he went to Expedia.com and threw the names of hotels at me. And now we have to use code name: Brother. His English and his collegues aren’t the same, whatever the hell that means. He also wants to know the weather. I need to get back to him, but before I can, another dispatch arrives:
From: CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA THE GOVERNOR
Subject: VERY URGENT
Date: 31 October 2003
Attn:Michael Bloomberg,
This is to inform you that we have finaly move your fund to our offshore office in Amsterdam. you are hereby request to appear with the deposit certificate and airway bill of the shipment to Holland for pick up.
incase of any question, dont fail to contact this office for futher details.
your phone number is needed as the official will want to contact you by phone.
yours faithful,
CHIEF. KAYODE YALODE
ACCOUNTANT GENERAL
Good, he’s my faithful. Not only does “Central Bank of Nigeria The Governor” use Hong Kong’s equivalent of Yahoo! email, the email address is “josephsanusi@…” which seems odd since he’s claiming to be Kayode Layode, the “Accountant General.” Kudos to Kayode/Joseph for not using all CAPS like my pal Abu. I don’t understand why every subject header has to be “VERY URGENT” with these guys though.
A response is drafted and sent:
From: Michael Bloomberg
Subject: re: DEAR BROTHER I’M BACK TO THE COUNTRY
Date: 31 October 2003
Hello Brother(s)!
I must say I am very confused because I have received many emails from you and I do not totally understand what to do. Do I consider Mister Layode a brother too or only you Abu? This is one thing that confuses me, even though I am normally very good in business.
I understand we will meet in Holland to exchange the funds and finalize everything but I do not understand which Holland you are talking about. I will assume it is the Holland that is in Europe, yes? We have several states here in the United States that have Holland as the name. But I don’t think you mean Holland, Idaho because that is very far out of your way to have to go. They have great potatoes in Idaho. Idaho? Youdaho! (This is a joke we say).
I am able to get a very low cost ticket to London on Virgin (the airlines) and I can then hitchhike to Holland in France with your trunk boxes. I hope they are not very heavy because I have a limit to the amount of baggage I can bring back to the US when I return. Do you need the trunks back? Where did you get them. There was a sale at the Container Store and I can bring some more trunks if you would like them.
The weather here is a lovely 46 degrees (not Celcius!). I am wearing chaps and a wool hat today. Thank you for asking. How is the weather in your place? Cold?
Okay. I will try and call you now. I will say ‘Brother?’ and you can answer how you want because you told me this was the code system you would like to use. But I will say ‘brother’ several times until I am confident that it is you I am talking to ‘ so don’t think I am crazy when I call!
What hotel will we stay at in Holland? Are there movies in the room?
I am very excited! It makes me want to ban smoking in all the bars in the city and cause a 30% cut in the restaurant business! We should open a restaurant with all the money, no? Can you cook?
Your brother,
Brother (Michael Bloomberg)
Okay, I think Abu is catching on. He claims I’m “playing” him. The irony there, of course, is that he’s the frickin’ con man, not me. My failure to provide a contact phone number has aggravated him. I’m debating acquiring a disposable phone number in order to prolong the relationship. Or I could give him the number of a Blockbuster video and have the jig be up immediately:
From: abu hassan
Subject: VERY URGENT
Date: 1 November 2003
DEAR BROTHER,
PLEASE DONT MAKE ME FEEL YOU ARE PLAYING ME AS YOU HAVE NEVER WANT TO GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THAT WE CAN TALK, WHAT ABOUT IF THE OFFICIALS ARRIVE HOLLAND IN EUROPE BY MONDAY HOW WOULD THEY GET INTOUCH WITH YOU.
AGAIN IF YOU FAIL TO GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER TO SUBMIT TO THEM I WILL TAKE IT AS IF YOU DONT WANT TO HELP ME RECEIVE THIS FUND . REMEMBER THAT YOUR NAME IS THE NAME IN THE CONTAINER THERE NOW SO YOU DONT HAVE TO WASTE TIME.
FOR CHIEF KAYODE, YOU DONT HAVE TO CALL HIM BROTHER SINCE IS NOT YOUR ASSOCIATE IN BUSINESS, HE’S ONLY ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OG THIS COUNTRY.
I REPEAT MY NUMBER IS 00234-**********. IF YOU LIKE CALL ME IF YOU DONT LIKE FORGET IT.
BYE.
ABU HASSAN
This was sadly our last correspondence. Although this guy is obviously busy conning a few folks at the same time, and he’s prone to confusing the cons, so I think I could pop back into his life again in short order.
Hilarious!
I’m lovin’ it!
What happens next ???? Come on now…
Well, I tried winning him back but to no avail. I guess it needs a Hollywood ending where everyone falls in love and goes off happy. Right now it leaves people hanging, like that film Contact with Jodie Foster.
Either way…absolutely brilliant stuff…I am a treasurer and I assure you that it did a great deal to break the monotony of the day and give me some comic relief…cheers re’
If you give me more details then i’ll be happy to go and pick up the money for you (for a small consideration.)
By the way,
They are trying to stop smoking in public here in the U.K………and I blame you.
Geweldig dit!!!
Apparently “geweldig dit!!!” is Dutch and means “Terrible this!!!” which I suppose could be construed two ways. Either the guy thinks this is terrible, or he’s using “terrible” in the same way Michael Jackson used “Bad” back when he was successful and less fondling.
Dear Michael,
I would like to know more about your dealings with Dr. Abu Hassan.
I think I am now undergoing the same con.
Please contact me be email asap.
Thanks,
Elize
Hello Elize,
My name is not Michael. Michael Bloomberg is the Mayor of New York.
My dealings with Dr. Abu have been posted on the site so there is not much more I can offer you other than saying if someone you don’t know offered you a lot of money for doing nothing, that’s a con. I’d trust your instincts.
You guys are telling me that the 24 mils from Nigeria that I was to receive is a scam? Oh my …..
To “Mr. Michael Bloomburg”:
You think you are very clever, yes? Post many emails on the internet and make fun of me, yes? Well, as they say, the jig it is up. Perhaps I am not who I say I am, but you have no idea who I really am. If you did you would not try to play with me or deceive me or fakery me like this. For I am a particularly wily person who will trample and contrune upon those who attempt to berate or puzzle me. But you are merely scum, and I have no time for you. So I bid you farewell and goodbye.
If you’re going to try and impersonate the great Doctor, at the very least you’ll need to work on his shoddy command of the English langauge and his ALL CAPS writing style. You’ll also have to change your IP address which betrays the truth.
I got the Dr Zulu email myself this morning and did a quick Google. I came upon your site and read about your exchanges with both Dr Zulu and Dr Abu Hassan. Thank you for taking the time to interact with the con and post your replies. I sure was hilarious!
This never fails to make me laugh. Its just a shame that Dr Abu doesn’t respond to your questions..
this has been a very plesant diversion from exam revision, you should give him a real bank number and carry it all through, you may get rich!!!
funniest thing I read all week.
Brilliant Stuff. Unfortunately, I haven’t got the time to repeat this dialogue with “my” Dr. Abu Hassan, who is well known to me because he’s a permanent guest in my e-mail-box…
Today, I received a mail from “Usman Davis”. He must be a brother of Abu (living in “the Tiny Republic of Benin a country in west Africa”) because he uses nearly the same words to describe his special wish – He also tries to find a foreign bank account.
Brian, if YOU want to get in contact with USMAN (doesn’t sound like an african name, does it?!), this is his DIRECT Phone Number (I think you’ve reat it several times before…): Tel:2348035049210
Best wishes from Germany, and thanx for your funny story!
I’m still reeling over the, “Michael Bloomberg is the mayor of New York,” thing. No offense meant, of course. It’s probably just American hubris to assume that everyone knows the name of New York’s mayor and that he prohibited smoking. Still…
Geweldig means great
I’d say it is American hubris to assume that everyone trans nationally knows who Michael Bloomberg is. Do you know who Ken Livingstone is? Or Michael Howerd? No, you don’t, so shut your face don miguel, you tit
your responses to Abu were hilarious. i was looking at “Abu’s” writing patterns and his mistakes are consistent with a Russian or other Slavic language speaker. i teach English as a Foreign Language and I see this stuff a lot. i hope he gets back in touch, just for the hell of it.
I LIKE CHEESE WITH YOYIMBO CRACKERS. HAILS TO THE NEW MINISTER OF FINANCE OF THE REPUBLIC OF KADKDLSRI WITH WHOM MY SISTER SUSTAINS COITAL RELATIONS FOR HE WILL TRANSFER THE SUM OF $60 MILLION TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN KENTUCKY FOR MY LICKING OF HIS BROTHER WITH WHOM I SUSTAIN COITAL RELATIONS.
THANKS YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE IN WAITING FOR ME IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE, MR BROTHER BLOOMBERG. THE SEX WAS GOOD.
It s really intereting but your story looks as ones told when you are into this bussiness.
Personally i wanted know how they will take your own personal account if not,it is purely a tale or could you kindly tel exactly how they operate,personally i have had some amunt paid in a net friend’s acunt in Spain and she always send me any amount when requested,conclude your full story or possible,form a newemail account and write to him as your brother who you told Dr.ealier that he helps gave you some advice.
Read you soon.
It s really intereting but your story looks as ones told when you are into this bussiness.
Personally i wanted know how they will take your own personal account if not,it is purely a tale or could you kindly tel exactly how they operate,personally i have had some amunt paid in a net friend’s acunt in Spain and she always send me any amount when requested,conclude your full story or possible,form a newemail account and write to him as your brother who you told Dr.ealier that he helps gave you some advice.
Read you soon.
That was the funniest thing I have read in years. I love that you would take such time and effort to con a con man. Very entertaining at the expense of a scammer – what could be better?
Baklava!
@the EAAFL teacher – the writing patterns aren’t slavic in origin – not in the least. The man is simply semi-illiterate …I’m Nigerian, so I have an idea.
Brian , this (and pretty much everything else on your site!) is HELLA FUNNY….the 419’ers don’t discriminate at all, they send NIGERIANS these emails.( Uh, duh!) I generally just send them a reply raining all the torments of Hades on them and their descendants for at least 9 generations. That tends to shut them up. Once in while, I tell them they are being investigated as I have forwarded their information to the relevant authorities in the US. I usually also suggest that they tell their families they will be going away for a loooong long time, as the law will soon catch up with them. They either cease all communication or reply, claiming to have sent the offer to me in error.
But anyway, your method is better..!
You are one diligent mother-fucker!!!! I am currently in the process of stringing one of these guys along, but yours cuts the cake!!
@jojo
whether you’re nigerian or not is irrelevant, the person who wrote it may very well not be slavic, but the fact is their mistakes are consistent with speakers of those languages. i’m slavic, so i have some idea.
These nigerians like to scam via ebay also, careful if your selling somthing with a “buynow” option, they will select it ending the bid, thus wasteign the money you spent to make the auction and then they wont pay of course, they just want you to mail what your selling. ofcourse I didnt.
P.S. Im very good at Bussnisss
I really enjoyed reading your replies to this scam. I wish I had as much control over the English language as you do…but unfortunately my English is as good as Abu’s and I cannot have as much fun as you do, answering to all this “crap” we receive everyday… I am an art teacher and I am going through a scam-mail right now, with a guy who claims to be from the UK, willing to send his daughter to study with me here in the US. He has sent me a cashier’s check already… 5 times more than my fees. He tells me, that the check is a gift and I should wire him the “change” … for his daughter’s travelling expenses…! I have just learned, that a cashiers check shows up as cash in your account as soon as you deposit it. Giving you the impression that it is a good check. It can take weeks for both bank institutions to find out it is a counterfeit… They have been using this scam on Ebay and with nonprofit organizations…
i love it. just got one from Barrister Anderson Mako….time for some fun :)
The Nigerian Email Experiment, Part II
Incredibly, my correspondence with the Nigerian scam artist goes on. So far, Dr. Abu has continued relentlessly to press me…
I’m getting this shit all the time too :P
It’s startin’ to piss me off now though – seems like they’ve hired alot more ppl.
– Since i get like 10 diff. mails from 10 diff. “doctors” and “inherators” hmm….:@
Excuse me for interrupting please.
!!Help me, please.!!!
Help me, please.
Let me introduce myself.
My name’s Somchat Tasai.
I’m Thailand. I’m therty.
I’m 160 centimeters tall.
I weigh 45 kilograms.
I don’t have any brothers or sisters.
There are 7 people in my family.
My grandparents live with us.
My father doesn’t work he have a terrible cold no make work.
My mother doesn’t work.She have a diabetes.
I don’t have monney for father and mother.
My family from time to time rarely to eat breakfast.
What am I going to do? Help me,please.
I’m and father and mother hungry…what will I do?
Help me,please. Help me,please. Help me,please.
I’ve been waiting for help you.
Mr.Somchat Tasai.
71 Moo 7 Banrai Road Ampher Chiang San
Chiang Rai province Thailand 57150.
e-mail:somchat357@hotmail.com
Transfer to Account.
Account Name: Mr.Somchat Tasai.
Bank Name: Krung Thai Bank (KTB)
Account No:504-0-30266-5 /Saving.
Branch: Chiangrai province Thailand.
Hilarious Brian, hilarious!! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.