Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Grammar Cop: A Little Too Possessive

university-minnesota.jpg
Defendant: University of Minnesota Conference and Event Services
Count 1: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun, a misdemeanor.
Count 2: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun, a misdemeanor.
Count 3: Usage of an apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun, a misdemeanor.
Count 4: Committing grammatical mischief within 1000 feet of a school.
Count 5: Committing grammatical mischief on letterhead from an educational institution.
Report: This memorandum came to Grammar Cop HQ by an individual connected with the famed “Minnesota Railroad” – a secret organization of individuals who smuggle grammatically-challenged documents out of Minnesota. Minnesota is a U.S. state which is south of Canada. Because the individual continues to work undercover during the War On Apostrophes, he or she has chosen to remain nameless until his or her identity is leaked to the press by Robert Novak.
Fine: $350 and mandatory attendance of apostrophe sensitivity classes.


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