Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Poland Dispatch: Village Gossip

The village has a brand new gathering spot courtesy of the mayor. What was once the ruins of the old cinema were leveled to make way for an outdoor stage, dance area, and a ring of picnic tables. The tables are sheltered by an awning that anyone over 5’6″ runs the risk of smashing their face into if they’re drunk, which they are, as that’s why you go to the village gathering spot in the first place.
The mayor’s daughter informed us that her father had stomach stapling surgery.
Marta disappeared twelve years ago leaving behind an infant daughter. The village rumor mill kicked into action and it had long been assumed she was a prostitute who’d wound up in jail. She has returned and feels the need to introduce herself as Marta, who is neither a prostitute nor ex-convict.
The cinderblock store & bar at the end of the driveway is closed. Bad news for my son who liked to get lollipops there, worse news for the drunk old men who used to sit outside on tree stumps.
Mirek got Beata knocked up. Beata tried to knock out Mirek’s mom. As a result the happy couple now resides in the cinderblock store & bar at the end of the driveway.
The Polish economy is visibly improving. People have money to paint their houses, and if they can avoid buying the dreadful Fiat Maluch they do so.
In a growing economy many folks are still unaware of how exactly the stock market works, so Krzystof just bets with friends on whether it will go up or down.
Janusz became the talk of folks for kilometers around when he bought a Porsche Cayenne. Unfortunately, being known as the village rich guy means that the village mechanic wants $1,000 to fix a light bulb.
The Fire Chief is not afraid to use his half-pinky finger for comedic purposes.


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