Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Nathaniel Jones: Real American Hero

nathaniel.jpg
We live in troubled times, indeed. And I for one am worried.
I’m worried that it’s no longer safe for a drug-addled, 41-year old, 400 pound, parole-violating black man with an enlarged heart to attack cops.
I’m worried that our society has gone so terribly wrong that you can’t just ingest cocaine, PCP and methanol, go to a hamburger joint at 6am, start a commotion and not get killed.
Where is the justice? Where’s the freedom? What is happening to the America I love?
Young men and women are fighting, dying, to protect our freedoms. Every day they’re willing to make the ultimate sacrifice — putting their lives on the line so that 400-pound, drug-crazed men and women of all races can live the lives they want to live. Eat the cheeseburgers they want to eat. Attack the authority figures they want to attack.
All Nathaniel ‘Skip’ Jones wanted was several White Castle cheeseburgers. And to fight with customers and staff. And maybe to attack a few cops who came when they were summoned. But what he got was much worse than White Castle cheeseburgers. What he got was dead.
I thought we lived in a day and age when a 400-pound, drug-crazed black man could assault two thin white cops and live to tell about it.
Well, apparently I was wrong.
We all know what we saw when we saw those cops defending themselves from a 400-pound drug-crazed man attacking them. We saw racism. Because we all know full well that if Nathaniel was a drugged up, 400-pound white ex-con attacking cops at 6am, they would have simply turned the other cheek. Walked away. In fact, they’d probably have bought him a few White Castle cheeseburgers (9g fat/ea). Maybe even high-fived him.
But not Nathaniel. Poor, poor Nathaniel.
I thought we’d come a long way since the march on Selma. Indeed, when O.J. Simpson was found innocent of butchering those two folks I thought, We’ve made real progress’ we’re almost there.
Now I realize how naive I was. There’s still a lot of work to be done. But one day, God willing, it will once again be safe for drug-crazed, 400-pound, black ex-cons to attack policemen and not be at their mercy.
God bless you, Nathaniel. May your death be the catalyst that leads us to a better tomorrow.
You’ll be missed, I assume.


Previously

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