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From New York, a weblog of original humor by Brian Sack.
Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

Entries from Banterist tagged with "Travel"

I Am An Expert On France

In case you were unaware, French highways become parking lots during the summer. Especially in the south of France. Especially...

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The Limited Worldview of Cheap Cereal

Price Chopper's Fruit Whirls is their store-brand answer to Fruit Loops. They look and taste the same, sure, and...

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Runners-up to Hopenhagen

Although Hopenhagen is the ultimate winner in the UN Climate Change Conference contest, we should certainly acknowledge the other...

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Yelp: Loews Hotel Vogue

Montréal is a great city, filled with tons of naked women dancing. Usually naked women dancing are pushed off into...

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"It Was Twenty Years Ago Today"

In 2005 my wife dragged me, kicking and screaming, to China. I did not want to go because I had a picture in my head that I was quite comfortable with and didn't feel like challenging it. But, since my wife is almost invariably right it turned out to be one of the most amazing trips of my life. I still talk about the asparagus. Best asparagus ever. No doubt it was farmed in melamine-tainted soil with carcinogenic fertilizers - but it was truly delicious.

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Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary

The Very Long Drive: France - Monaco - Italy - Switzerland - Liechtenstein - Austria - Germany - Poland

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Germany Dispatch: Unfortunate Names

The candy that tastes just Reich.

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France Dispatch - Unfortunate Names

Visiting Tourrettes? Enjoy some Pschitt Lemonade or Pussy Pops on Rue Craponne.

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France Dispatch - Internet Inderdit!

Being web-free for such a long time has allowed me to focus on the more important things - which in France are family, baguettes, non-pasteurized cheese and copious amounts of wine.

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Poland Dispatch: Zalesie in 60 Seconds

A 60 second tour of the village of Zalesie, Poland.

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Poland Dispatch: Unfortunate Products

DINK 50 MOTOR SCOOTER You can get around town quite easily with a bicycle because town is as small as Angelina Jolie is creepy. But, should you wish to get around town even faster or simply desire to come across as a wee bit more macho you can ride around town on your Dink.

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Traveling with Children, Illustrated

Greg Williams at the Tampa Tribune illustrated one of my pieces on ">traveling with children, which is exactly what I'm doing right now. In Poland. Where the wheat is sharp. Did you know wheat is sharp? I did not know this. I have a bloody finger.

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F.A.Q.: Why Is Your Playground On Top Of A Cemetery?

When you're thinking about building a playground for kids, your first inclination might be "let's not build this on a 200-year old cemetery." But in our case, we thought differently.

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Drove Someone Insane With Postcards

The winner of the Drive Someone Insane with Postcards auction was kind enough to give me permission to post the cards that went out.

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Consumer Reportage: Car Booster Seat and Restraint Comparison

For the purposes of this test we outfitted two cars. One car with the Graco TurboBooster car seat, the other with plastic restraints. To ensure the best possible uniformity in testing we used a pair of identical twins separated from their mother by eye-opening legal precedent.

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Poland Dispatch: Unfortunate Products

Naughty backpack, VD pants and the game of fart.

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eBay: Drive Someone Insane with Postcards

You are bidding on a rare chance to traumatize a treasured friend or relative with baffling, mind-numbing correspondence from abroad.

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Traveling With Children

Air travel is rarely a fun or relaxing experience - and when kids are involved it's like poking your eyes out with a fork while jackbooted thugs step on your groin and Hitler pours acid on your herb garden. Here are some helpful tips to keep you sane this holiday season.

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Playmobil Re-Enactments: Ow, Canada.

“There is a very good likelihood that the Taser was used well before the situation called for it.”

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The Pope Is A Jew, and Your Bag's On Fire

Some select clips from my DAVE-FM morning show audition wherein we learn that the Pope is a Jew and that airline personnel are quite capable of setting your luggage on fire and not noticing.

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Neil Simon on I Am An Expert On France
Anonymous on The Cons of November
David Foxdove on China Dispatch: Using the Squat Toilet
manymopars on eBay: Playboy. In Braille.
Malgosia on Report from Poland - Raport z Polski
starringmoviesu on For Child Left Behind
Anonymous on Outsourcing US Jobs Overseas: Good, Bad or Ugly?

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