From New York, original humor & commentary by Brian Sack.
Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

How To Book A Hotel Room In Iceland


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Go to the hotel's website. It was designed in the late 1990s but it should have room rate information somewhere.

The room rate information will be in Icelandic Króna (ISK). Is 20,000 ISK expensive? Who knows? You'll have to leave the web page and go to Google Finance. Use the currency converter to find out.

Return to the hotel's web page armed with the knowledge of the room rate.

There is no way to reserve a room online.

Send an email to the hotel's reservation desk asking if there is a room available on the date you'll be there.

Wait 2-3 days.

Call the hotel.

The hotel does not answer the phone. After 20 rings you are hung up on.

Call the hotel.

The hotel does not answer the phone. After 20 rings you are hung up on.

Send an email to the hotel's reservation desk reminding them that you sent an email asking if there is a room available on the date you'll be there.

Receive an email telling you a room is indeed available, please email your credit card information to them.

Respond to the email by telling them you do not feel comfortable sending credit card information over an email.

Receive an email saying to call tomorrow between 4am-9am your time.

Call the hotel close to 9am.

The hotel does not answer the phone. After 20 rings you are hung up on.

Send an email saying you would like to confirm the room with a credit card but no one picked up the phone.

Wait one day.

Call the hotel.

The hotel does not answer the phone. After 20 rings you are hung up on.

Send an email saying you will fax the credit card information instead. Ask if they take American Express.

Wait two days.

Receive an email saying the fax machine is broken. Suggests calling between 4a-7a and 1p-5p your time.

Call the hotel.

Woman answers! Provide credit card information. Receive confirmation via email.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: Travel | 2 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Odyssey Dawn Belongs On Charlie Sheen's Sofa

Odyssey Dawn sounds like a porn star name. I'm not quite sure why they went that route. It seems to buck the trend of naming military operations something that kind of makes sense. Desert Storm makes sense. Uphold Democracy makes sense. Provide Comfort makes sense. Odyssey Dawn? Porn star name.

Naming military operations is something the Germans started doing in World War I. Other countries caught on and by World War II America was naming operations too. But we were new at the game and not very good at it so we went with names like Alpha and Leader. Kind of dull and they didn't say much about the actual operation. That was intentional because giving too much away was considered a bad idea after British intelligence came to realize that Operation Sea Lion was Germany's plan to invade Britain.

By the time we were in Vietnam operation names were being used more for public relations, although they still weren't particularly descriptive. Furthermore, names like Masher and Flaming Dart angered the anti-war crowd.

Nowadays clever operational names are par for the course. Usually, anyway, I have no idea what happened with regard to Odyssey Dawn. Here's how Slate explains the naming process:

For a big deal like the Iraq War, staff officers compile a list of two-word nicknames that seem appropriate, and their commanding officer picks one, keeping in mind that it may be used to sell the public on the validity of the undertaking. Then he submits his choice to the Joint Chiefs of Staff for approval and then the Secretary of Defense for a final OK.

The more minor operations - which I presume Odyssey Dawn is - there is a different protocol, which actually might explain how they arrived at Odyssey Dawn:

The Joint Chiefs of Staff assign each command agency in the Department of Defense a set of two-letter alphabetic combinations--Southern Command, for example, has BL and KE, among other pairings. (Or, at least, it did as of 2002. The document list is classified.) The first word of each nickname must start with one of these designated pairs; the second word is random.

Regardless of how they got there, Odyssey Dawn is a name that seems to fail the guidelines laid out by Lt. Colonel Gregory Sieminski in a 1995 article for Parameters the quarterly for the U.S. Army War College:

First, make it meaningful.

Odyssey Dawn is not particularly meaningful, but is an excellent porn star name.

Second, identify and target meaningful audiences.

The audience in this case is the world community, and especially Arabs. A good name can send them a calming message. Operation Civil Shield or Operation You Asked Us To Do This, Remember? might reassure the Arab street that we're not going on another Middle East adventure. Odyssey Dawn doesn't do that. Porn star name.

Third, be cautious of fashions.

In other words, don't get stuck with a clichéd convention like the very popular verb-noun combination: Provide Hope, Provide Comfort, Provide Relief or Uphold Democracy. They managed to evade that with Odyssey Dawn's noun-noun combination. But it still makes no sense and sounds like a porn star name.


Finally, make it memorable.

Oh, it's memorable alright. Odyssey Dawn, Jenna Jameson and Shyla Stylez in No Guy Zone.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: In The News | 2 Comments | Email to a Friend
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A Primer In Politics For The Incredibly Disenchanted


Alas, I'm afraid my blog is more neglected than one of Charlie Sheen's children. There are several reasons. Babies, busy, ran out of funny. One of the bigger reasons for this extended neglect has been that I've been working on another book. The final edits are on their way to the publisher, Simon & Schuster. The book will look like this:

BS of A Cover

Please sear the image in to your memory so that you recognize it when you stroll into a book store. Assuming book stores still exist when the book comes out.

Speaking of: It will come out in June 2011. Or July 2011. Or August 2011. It's hard to say. Every time I ask someone I get a different answer. The good money seems to be on July. Let's just say July.

As you can see, it is called The B.S. of A: A Primer in Politics for the Incredibly Disenchanted. The assumption is you are among the incredibly disenchanted. Like my last book is a humor book. Unlike my last book, which was ostensibly directed at my son, it is ostensibly directed at everyone.

It's about politics, as the title suggests, and I tend to poke fun at a lot of things. There's a good chance I poke fun at some thing or politician you like. I hope that doesn't make you mad. It's all for the greater good of being as objective and non-partisan as possible, which is what we're sorely lacking these days.


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In Anticipation of Emancipation


I recently updated to the newest Photoshop and it's so much better! I was able to make this in under 12 hours:

ha-ha-gadaffi.jpg


©Brian Sack | Filed under: Politics | 0 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Spitting Booty Cheddar

A little short with Malcom in the Middle regular Gary Anthony Williams, Tommy Smeltzer and me.

Spitting Booty Cheddar from Gary Anthony Williams


©Brian Sack | Filed under: | 1 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Your direct connection to Stevie Wonder.



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