Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Hemberton College Bulletin

CLASS OF ’89
Barrett Chandler (Business) tells us “I eventually settled down and found myself a wife, but deep down I’m still the same intolerable, misogynistic prick you remember.”
Sheri Rubenstein (Communications) just finished her ninth screenplay and sent it to Warner Brothers to join her other eight screenplays in a pile of screenplays in a landfill of screenplays outside of Los Angeles.
Denton Fleckhart (Business) says that being chosen “Most Likely To Party On!” in 1988 was an honor he never forgot. “I now have cirrhosis,” he writes the Bulletin, “you’ve killed me.”
Devon Barnaby Sharpe (Communications) wanted to let alumni know about his small part on Law & Order and hopes they don’t see his recent appearance on To Catch A Predator.
Tiffany Fleck (Business) now believes she played hard to get for too long and regrets dumping Michael Haye (Communications). “I think my ovaries are turning into dried husks,” she writes.
Brad Leslie (Business) wanted to say hello to old friends and let them know that varsity lacrosse made him gay. He says to look him up if you’re ever in a steam room in Minneapolis.
Tyra Honniger (Drama) writes in to say she and Bruce Klein (Business) had a bouncing baby boy – causing much distress in his marriage to Maggie Burnham Klein (Law ’90).
Winner of the Hemberton College Drama Award, Marvin Kreiss (Theatre) writes in to say that breaking in to Broadway is “much tougher” than he imagined, and that in retrospect anyone could have won a Hemberton College Drama Award.
Stephan Mycock (Music) tell us that he’s finally grown comfortable with his name, now that he’s changed it to Stephan Meisner.
Kate Dooley (Education) writes, “I have stopped using the word wimmin because it was really quite absurd.”
Griffin Bartley (Business) was barely noticed by anyone during his four years at Hemberton and, ironically, was killed by a tree he barely noticed on Route 4 in Hemberton.


Previously

Defendant: "Artic" Refrigeration Count 1: Misdemeanor spelling. Count 2: Rendering grammatical indecency permanent by painting it on a vehicle. Count 3: Exposing grammatical indecency to the public via vehicle. Count 4: Committing grammatical indecency within 1000 yards of a …

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