Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.
That started in Guilin, China aboard their tourist ships.
The scenery was magical, mountains all around;
But after near-miss 34, I thought we’d crash and drown.
The natives paddled up to us, to sell their souvenirs;
They stood outside the windows. We pretended they weren’t there.
We didn’t eat much lunch that day, after we realized;
They made it on the ship’s back deck… Not so sanitized. Not so sanitized.
Guilin is really gorgeous and the scenery’s the best;
Though most vivid: The English guy who puked on the hostess.