Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Grammar Cop: Pore Judgement

gorgeous.jpg
Complaint: Misdemeanor placement of a comma between an adjective and a verb; printing said transgression on posters and mounting to the interior of Metropolitan Transit Authority trains; creating a creepy mental picture, with a single comma, of gorgeous skin somehow capable of looking at you.
Defendant: The ‘Board Certified’ dermatologists at 1-800-BLEMISH.
Report: Officer was sitting on a northbound A-train when he witnessed the illegally positioned comma above a seated Asian lady. Being somewhat self-conscious, the officer was forced to wait until the lady exited the train because he didn’t want to stand in front of her and take a picture.
Fine: $85; Advertising agency to be placed on probation for three months.


Previously

My brain demands an intellectual balance at all times. I have no idea why or whether anybody else has the same condition. For instance, if I'm reading a book written for grown-ups my brain will …