Defendant: Lettuce USA
Count 1: Usage of an apostrophe in a plural noun. Twice.
Count 2: Usage of an apostrophe in a verb.
Count 3: Rendering grammatical errors permanent in the form of a large sidewalk sign.
Count 4: Displaying double-sided, grammatically defective signage in a public venue.
Report: Officer was on patrol in the scenic Mid-Scumtown area when he was assaulted by the large sign’s three apostrophes. After regaining consciousness he collected his belongings and documented the crime. Only after returning to headquarters did he realize that in addition to apostrophe abuse, the defendant actually called their restaurant Lettuce USA – a name as appallingly non-creative as Mr. Squash or Dumpling Place.
Fine: $120 and mandatory attendance of apostrophe sensitivity classes.
Brian Sack
I started Banterist in 2003 after this conversation with my cat. It led to all sorts of good things.
Hello. Very nice blog. This is my first time here. I posted a little thing about a misplaced apostrophe and one of my readers told me about you. :-)
I like this blog. And, that poster burns me up as well!
how ’bout the Times lead headline on Saturday ‘Wave of Attacks in Iraq Kill [sic] 40 and Wound [sic] 100’
just kills my bagel and paper-of-record buzz. English-teacher emails must have brought the Internet to its knees.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/30/international/middleeast/30iraq.html?
Whoa! Officer, you were rendered unconscious by this reckless assault, yet the defendant gets off with a slap-on-the-wrist fine and sensitivity classes? This is a fine of only $30 per charge!
Also, just what are the criteria for a felonious grammar assault?
I’ve got a scoop for the Grammar Cop at http://www.hotmail.com! Witness multiple sentence fragments, courtesy of Microsoft Corporation:
“Help keep your inbox free from contamination. With powerful spam filters and enhanced virus scanning & cleaning.”
Nothing bother’s me more than jerk’s who use apostrophe’s in the wrong place’s.
I will not put up with this sort of bloody nonsense.
Thank you for illustrating. I’m including you in my list of apostrophe faux pas illustrated.
MK