Defendant: Unidentified male with regretful priorities in possession of a Ford Mustang.
Count 1: Comparative negligence, resulting in the use of what is mainly an adverb.
Count 2: Material support of grammatical malfeasance.
Count 3: Modifying an automobile with a grammatically defective device.
Report: Incident occurred in broad daylight in a residential area of Los Angeles. Officer Smeltzer of the California Hi Poor Speller Patrol (CHiPSP) spotted the incident and captured it via police camera (BlackBerry).
Fine: $188 and a one-year moratorium on expressing opinions on the back of a vehicle.