Defendant: An Unnamed High School.
Count 1: Negligent sentence structure.
Count 2: Commission of grammatical malfeasance within 1,000 yards of an educational institution.
Report: Officer Swafford was dropping her daughter off when the crime was noted, apprehended and booked. It should be noted that the school’s strict “no alcohol ban” and “code of conduct forbidden” policies are also extremely popular. The school enjoys near-perfect attendance.
Fine: $208 and a carton of American Spirit – the cigarette that insinuates that it’s healthy because it’s “additive free” and made by Indians.