From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


Grammar Cop: Amos n’ Andropov

Complaint: Misdemeanor misspelling of “Russian” – an adjective and noun relating to the country, language and culture of people who often wear shiny gold pants; painting said misspelling on a stretched canvas surface; calling said stretched canvas “art”; selling said “art” with a straight face.
Defendant: A SoHo street vendor selling paintings of questionable taste. Bad taste factor mitigated by the fact that the vendor is black and as such is apparently allowed to profit from self-deprecating material, like Chris Rock.
Report: Officer spotted infraction while swimming in a sea of bad sidewalk art peddled by licensed and unlicensed vendors. Officer thought painting would look great in a Klansman’s wood-paneled recreation room until the offensive spelling was discovered.
Fine: 176 Rubles and a raised eyebrow.


APPETIZER OYSTERS ON THE HALF SHELL Six Bluepoints from an unapproved source with cocktail sauce and our signature miso vinaigrette. ASSIETTE DE FROMAGES Plate of assorted cheeses assembled by Javy, who doesn't wash his hands. JUMBO LUMP CRAB MEAT SALAD Improperly-thawed …


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