Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Grammar Cop: Must Have Missed Business Class

starbucks_posessive.jpg
Defendant: Newark Airport (EWR)
Count 1: Improper apostrophe resulting in the possessive.
Count 2: Misspelling of a trademarked brand name which could have been easily avoided by referencing any street corner, Barnes & Noble or airport in the country.
Count 3: Rendering error permanent in the form of signage.
Count 4: Displaying error in a public venue.
Report: Officer was at Newark International Airport (EWR) preparing for routine annoyance by TSA agents practicing the “security” game when he became aware of the incident. After it was established that the sign did not reference the band Starbuck, whose 1976 song Moonlight Feels Right topped the charts, the incident was captured on digital media. Digital media is impervious to X-rays, as are the shoes everyone is pointlessly asked to remove.
Fine: $218 in Duty Free.


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Episode One: The unit works to snare a Brooklyn Mafia boss who has a mattress that makes him wheeze. Episode Two: A single fingerprint leads Detectives Melsky and Duffert to a counterfeiter with four cats. Episode Three: …