Defendant: Newark Airport (EWR)
Count 1: Improper apostrophe resulting in the possessive.
Count 2: Misspelling of a trademarked brand name which could have been easily avoided by referencing any street corner, Barnes & Noble or airport in the country.
Count 3: Rendering error permanent in the form of signage.
Count 4: Displaying error in a public venue.
Report: Officer was at Newark International Airport (EWR) preparing for routine annoyance by TSA agents practicing the “security” game when he became aware of the incident. After it was established that the sign did not reference the band Starbuck, whose 1976 song Moonlight Feels Right topped the charts, the incident was captured on digital media. Digital media is impervious to X-rays, as are the shoes everyone is pointlessly asked to remove.
Fine: $218 in Duty Free.
Brian Sack
I started Banterist in 2003 after this conversation with my cat. It led to all sorts of good things.
Are we allowed to pull you up on the grammar/typo front with :
Count 1 repetition of number for second and third counts
?? heh!
[ Yes, but that’s Shoddy Cop’s jurisdiction. -B. ]
Which reminds me how much I despise the new Battlestar Galactica. No cheesy 70’s soundtrack? No Dirk Benedict? Starbuck is a girl? The cylons have to employ clevage to get ahead of the humans?
Lorne Greene never would have allowed this b.s. if he was running the Ponderosa/Battleship my friend.
Hate their coffee but love “Moonlight Feels Right” (sort of Al Stewart-ey). Why no mention of Richard Hatch (pre-Survivor)? He was scotch-taped up in my locker for a long time. Rightly, Dirk was no slouch either. Refuse to watch new B.G. Agree, Lorne would have not settled for anything but a tight ship.
Could it be that Starbucks itself is the offender? An offender so outrageously gross that, like a parking lot full of SUVs, it hides a world of shame in plain sight? I mean, think about it. When did you ever meet a person named “Starbucks?”
I’m depressed. I need a pigeon news update.
I think it was just a typo — they were meaning to put the apostrophe in “Sam Adams” but hit the key late.
Grammar cop…what a great idea! Too funny.
There is a sign shop in the area which has sample yard signs out front, along the road. I’ve counted three different signs among the lot with mistakes in spelling or grammar. When they first set up shop, and put out the evidence of their incompetence, I thought they’d be out of business in a short time. Silly me Apparently, in the Gettysburg, Pennsylvania area, that’s just the kind of sign people want to buy. It appears business is going strong.
I’m thinking capital punishment is appropriate.
Aggravating circumstance: permanent signage, international venue.
Mitigating circumstances: none.
You folks think that is bad? I saw a sign while on vacation in Singapore that said “Anus Curry”! I assume it was meant to say “Anu’s Curry” but either way it is HIGH-larious.
P.S: Props to the supporters of the old skool BG. The network should have let Hatch handle the remake.
Physician heal thyself! – In paragraph 5 of the original posting, “practicing” should read “practising”. “Practice” is the noun, “practise” is the verb.
[ You are from AUSTRALIA, sir. It’s different there. And you gave us the Wiggles. -B. ]
Well… I would have to say the grammar cop actually messed this one up… the possessive of Starbucks is Starbucks’… This could be a contraction of Starbuck is, and also, if it were a proper possessive of Starbucks, it could be correct in that the express is not an actual Starbucks, per se, but a similar smaller version of Starbucks owned or POSSESSED if you will, by them… if I’m wrong you can fine me. :o)
[ But they didn’t spell “Starbucks” – hence the reference to the band from 1976. -B. ]
Wandering apostrophes are the work of kobolds. Randomly inserted quotation marks are the work of gremlins.
Old Nick is responsible for the British punctuation system.
And of course poltergeists are in charge of the overuse of “of course.”
Don’t you love the word “signage,” though? I use it whenever possible. Why have signs when you can have signage? More signage! Signage about signage!
I’ve got a good one for you. I once met a mechanic named Wade who had the following posted on a hand-written sign over his tool box: Wades Tool’s.
Brian–
Your writing’s certainly do point
out the problem’s with signage’s
apostrophe.
Ann in Kansas’City
Good Grammar
There are few things more annoying than the grammar police. In the middle of a perfectly good conversation or television show, a grammar cop will interrupt, feeling personally offended and upset over a sentence construction. If you’re lucky, the cop …
I realize that they ARE jocks but the folks at SI.com just posted this gem…. “Tony Stewart (20) and Ricky Rudd (21) put the petal to the metal after getting the green flag in last Sunday’s Subway 500 at Martinsville Speedway.”
I say they need to get down and push 20, run 50 laps and then be forced to read aloud from the OED until they pass out from boredom. Wait, does that make them pansies?
The Grammar Police! I love it! I am one, too.
And to prove it:
Sean, you state that the ‘possessive of Starbucks is Starbucks’.” Actually, according to both the Oxford Press and the Chicago Manual of Style (University of Chicago) the correct possessive of Starbucks is actually Starbucks’s. Unless, of course, the name ‘Starbucks’ refers to more than one Starbuck, in which case your spelling would be correct.
You see, one should use the single apostrophe at the end of the word only if the word is plural. For singular words or proper names that end in ‘s’ one should add an apostrophe and ‘s’.
James’s book.
Students’ books.
Just trying to help!
Mike
So many people are afraid of the possessive of nouns ending in s. Perhaps they think Jones or Starbucks or lens are already plural (one len?) so we get Amy Jones’ dog instead of Amy Jones’s dog.
My all time favorite plural f-up is the advertising tag line, “Pantyhose that fit.” Does that mean that one could have a single pantyhoe? I’m not lobbying for pantyhoses, but for “Pantyhose that fitS.” Sheeesh, is it that hard, people?
You would probably love -or at least really like- a book entitled PANDA EATS, SHOOTS, AND LEAVES. I’m afraid to write more in case I make a typo or grammatical error as I’m not in the mood to proofread this little comment.
Recently spotted in corporate cafeteria: Turkey Vegetable Soup – Vegetarian! Also spotted in several group emails: Please provide your “land ID” Love your work. I will be sure to report future offenses, lord knows there are not in short supply.
Our cafeteria regularly has roast beef with au jus.
I am so guilty of the punctuation thing. But if its any consolation I’m funny.
It was “Starland Vocal Band”
Get hold of any record on the Gordy label prior to the label’s redesign in 1967. (Examples are such monster hits as “My Girl,” “Dancing in the Street,” and “Do You Love Me.) In tiny print, circling the round Gordy logo at the top, is a slogan. It reads: “It’s What’s In The Grooves That Count.” I’ve always wondered if Berry Gordy himself penned that phrase.
By the way, Tom, Starland Vocal Band sang “Afternoon Delight,” not “Moonlight Feels Right.”
[ There are two de-lovely coincidences in this post. One – I was at Berry Gordy’s LA mansion in 1989 when I worked as a lowly grip on an interview crew. It was filled with large Chinese vases and old, sad blonde bimbos who wanted to be on camera. Smokey Robinson was there, is nice, and has unnatural blue eyes. Gordy had speakers throughout the property playing Motown constantly.
Two – I’m glad you pointed out that Starland had nothing to do with “Moonlight Feels Right.” I know the keyboardist on that song, and he would be thrilled you knew that. I’ll never forget one time I showed him a “Super Hits of the 70s” CD and he looked at the liner, pointed to the band labeled as “Starbuck” and said “That’s not my band. I have no idea who those people are.” That’s when you realize your PR person sucks. -B.]
hosiery is a plural thingy, there is two hose, one on each leg.
hence a pair of trousers.
so, a (pair of) pantyhose that fit is ok.
Grammar Cop needs an Australian associate.
I’ve seen
This site under surveilliance.
very BIG!!!! company. multiple signs around perimeter
signwriters need to finish the 3rd grade and own a dictionary before setting up in business.
The signwriter here was actually correcting an error on the part of Starbuck’s Coffee. The green sign outside of the cafe should read “Starbuck’s Coffee” since it is named after Starbuck from Moby Dick, and therefore his (posessive) coffee. There are not (at least for now) multiple Starbucks (plural) in the exact same location. The apostrophe is needed.
[ Sorry, you’re wrong. If you don’t believe me you can ask William Safire. The company name is “Starbucks” and has no apostrophe. -B. ]
I mean, you can trust anybody that you want to. I personally wouldn’t trust someone who changes the spelling of his name to please others that are making mistakes (Mr. Safir). However, Mr. Camp’s point was that “Starbucks” was the one making the mistake, regardless of the signage. I for one do not take on his fight, but I see his argument. That being said, I also understand that punctuation in advertisements, company names, and so forth, is left out because it is unpleasing to the eye. Also, A company can name anything anyway they want, because it is a proper noun.
My name is Emily and I run a blog documenting the improper use of apostrophes. I was wondering if you would allow me to add this, and if you could give me the street, city, and state information.
improperapostrophe.blogspot.com