Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Future Mission Scrubs

STS-115
Mission Commander suggests that the peas in a tube “smell nasty.”
STS-116
Self-Destruct light won’t shut off.
STS-117
Pre-empted by rumors of Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce.
STS-118
Suspicious “Middle Eastern” man reported in viewing area; turns out to be Mexican space enthusiast.
STS-119
Payload Specialist can’t remember if he packed the “science bees.”
STS-120
Pilot insists Mission Control sounds “sad” and won’t leave until he knows what’s wrong.
STS-121
Ground crewman thinks he left his car keys on launch pad.
STS-122
Someone suggests Nostradamus’s “Fire in the ships to the West ruin” must somehow mean STS-122.
STS-123
Gull droppings in employee parking lot.
STS-124
Proceeds from NASA bake sale leave budget half a billion short.
STS-125
First paying passenger John Travolta won’t stop screaming “We’re gonna see Xenu!”
STS-126
Payload Specialist’s humming mistaken for hydraulic leak.
STS-127
Crew hasn’t picked out a theme song yet.
STS-128
By the time the two-minute national moment of silence for Paris Hilton is over, clouds are everywhere.
STS-129
Mission Specialist still waiting at Barnes & Noble for midnight release of Harry Potter and the Fires of Puberty.
STS-130
Reports of excited geese.
STS-131
Window of opportunity missed while waiting for inspirational phone call from President Diddy.


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