Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Events Historians Have Ignored With Good Reason

The Battle of Geddy Lee
The Frowning Upon of Sir Henry Cromwell of Hinchinbrook, 1588
Massacre of the Not-So-Innocents
Martin’s Theory of Recently Printed Matter Drying Much Quicker When You Wave It Around
The Stiffing of Beer Hall Putsch Waitress Elga Bundsen, 1923
Plato’s Treatise on Prawns
Invention of the Footprint
Ben O’Malley’s Mastery of Darts, 1994
The Bitching of Rona, 1616
The Castigation of Thomas
First Poliolympic Games
The Night Ben Franklin Swore He Was Just Visiting A Friend On Elfreth’s Alley But The Smell Of His Jacket Said Otherwise.
Drafting of the Constitution of McDaid Toyota, 1987
Warner Brothers’ Theory of Antigravity Machines
The Eighth Charge of the Light Brigade
Birth of Gunfighter “Laid Back Bill” Geharty, 1852
First Draft of Krull, 1981
Party at Duke William’s Place, Normandy, 1064
The Microwaving of One Entire Pound of Ground Beef at 3:30am Whilst the Others Slept
The Non-Eventful, Peaceful Reign of Emperor Qub of Atlantis
Discovery of the Dark near Pluto
Clara’s Lamentations of The Washing Away of Adam’s Pyramid When The Tide Came In
Turkish Comedyquake of 1893
Budapest’s Terrible Rash of 1233
Execution of Libby D’Arc, 1438
Schlitzkrieg, Milwaukee, 1957


Previously

Every year, a certain number of actors are selected by the Screen Actors Guild to vote in the Screen Actor's Guild Awards. The SAG Awards are like the Oscars, but no one watches them. Nevertheless, the …

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Incredibly, my correspondence with the Nigerian scam artist goes on. So far, Dr. Abu has continued relentlessly to press me for my bank account information, claiming that he wants to wire $35 million into it for …