Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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eBay: The Marchond Jones Edition Macintosh

marchond.jpg
Hopefully you are bidding on a PowerMac G4 with a 733MHz processor, 1.25GB RAM and 60GB Hard Drive.
The keyboard and mouse are included. The keyboard had been used to generate witty articles, scathing letters to various customer service departments, and a long-winded letter to my college telling them their Film program was ruined by a bunch of commie hack professors.
The computer comes in the original box with the original styrofoam packing. The box features the original sticker from Marchond Jones – the name of the guy who sold me the computer. He didn’t really do anything, but when I picked out the computer he slapped his name sticker on it, no doubt to claim some kind of a commission. The Marchond Jones sticker is a collector’s edition, no doubt, as Marchond probably doesn’t work at Micro Center anymore. In the event Marchond Jones becomes famous, you can tell people he touched your PowerMac’s box once. Imagine their amazement, because I can’t.
The Macintosh is the perfect computer for people who hate Windows or who are just afraid of Windows. If you buy this computer, you can spend the rest of your days telling people that Macintosh rules and Windows sucks. It makes for great conversation.
The computer has OSX 10.2 installed. The original Software Restore and Apple Hardware Test disks are included. I am also including the OSX 10.2 install disks and iLife 1.0 disks because I am mildly pleasant. The “Setting Up” documentation is also included.
I will now answer dumb questions so no one else has to shame themselves:
Does it work?
Yes. It works, for God’s sake.
Are the power cords included?
Yes. The power cords are included and the mouse cable and keyboard cable. Huzzah.
Will you sell it to me off of eBay and ship it to Indonesia via FedEx?
No, you little foreign criminal.
Specs and Fantastic Bidding Opportunity


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