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From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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CSI: Allergy Response Unit

Episode One: The unit works to snare a Brooklyn Mafia boss who has a mattress that makes him wheeze.
Episode Two: A single fingerprint leads Detectives Melsky and Duffert to a counterfeiter with four cats.
Episode Three: It’s a race against the clock as a dangerous arsonist aggravates Mrs. Peel’s asthma.
Episode Four: Detective Haggart refuses to open a 30-year old cold case because the envelope is dusty.
Episode Five: The detectives shut down a Manhattan escort service using animal dander.
Episode Six: A key witness to a brutal gangland slaying is interrogated with too much perfume.
Episode Seven: An undercover cop infiltrates a murderous drug gang only to be offered a hazelnut.
Episode Eight: Three days before he’s set to retire, Detective Williams suffers a rash. (With Terrence Trent D’Arby as a self-sabotaging dandy)
Episode Nine: Headquarters is turned upside-down as Internal Affairs investigates reports of widespread lactose intolerance.
Episode Ten: Detective Melsky separates from his wife and must come to terms with the fact his deodorant burns his armpits.
Episode Eleven: A kidnapped priest is absolutely miserable with all the pollen.
Episode Twelve: After Detective Haggart’s partner is killed on duty, the unit struggles to discover when the HEPA filter was last changed.


Previously

Defendant: Newark Airport (EWR) Count 1: Improper apostrophe resulting in the possessive. Count 2: Misspelling of a trademarked brand name which could have been easily avoided by referencing any street corner, Barnes & Noble or airport in …

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